In Brittle Disharmony
by SongsofPsyche1945
Summary: This was all Phil's fault to begin with. If he hadn't suggested they go to Vegas for Alan's bachelor party, none of this would have ever happened. Phil wouldn't have gotten kidnapped, Doug wouldn't have been punched by Woody Allen, and Alan wouldn't be wearing a Spice Girls T-shirt. This was all evidence of a night that never should have happened. [Rewrite of Broken but not Bent]
1. Chapter 1

I almost feel like titling this story, "I Will Never Be Happy With This One, So Here Is The Latest Version". I have done some major tweaking and editing, once again. Most of it is different, some of it is the same. Please read, review and let me know what you think of the changes! Is it better? Worse? Did you like it?

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This was not going well.

Stuart narrowed his eyes as he stared down at the four Mafia mobsters in front of him. Man, it had been a crazy couple of days. Fuck Vegas. He was never coming here again, regardless of whom was getting married. Next time they would do Atlantic City. Infact, this was all Phil's fault to begin with. If he hadn't suggested they go to Vegas for Alan's bachelor party, none of this would have ever happened. Phil wouldn't have gotten kidnapped, Doug wouldn't have been punched by Woody Allen, and Alan wouldn't be wearing a Spice Girls T-shirt. This was all evidence of a night that never should have happened. Yet here he was, 30 miles out in the middle of fucking no where, bargaining with some low life thug for the life of his best didn't see Phil anywhere, and that made him suspicious. He had held up his end of the deal-the $4000 of cash was stashed safely in the bag he was holding-,but it seemed like the Boss-what was his name again? Luca di Something- had not.

"Where's Phil?" Stu asked in voice that sounded a lot stronger than he felt.

Luca just smiled and motioned with his hand. Two of the mafiosi backed away towards the black SUV and opened the back doors. In the bright morning sunlight, it was hard to see what was going on, but Stu heard the definite sounds of a struggle. A good sign, if anything it showed that Phil was still alive and strong enough to still fight. When they had woken up in the deluxe suite of Cesaer's Palace two days ago, with no memory of the night before, the first thing Stu had done was look for Doug. And to his surprise, he had found him spooning with Leslie Chow in the bathtub in a sparkly purple speedo cuddling an Oscar trophy. It was then he had realized, with deep horror that Phil was the one missing. Then they had found the ransom note taped to the window and realized what deep shit they were in. Apparently they had stolen four grand from one of the Mafia thugs while they had been skinny dipping in the Venetian waterfront that night. This guy, Luca was serious, Chow had said. No one steals from him and lives. Even Chow, who was scared of nothing wanted nothing to do with this guy.  
Stu couldnt help feeling grateful towards Chow, who had been a groomsman in Alan's wedding and had accompiaed them to Vegas for the weekend. And for his leadership skills, with the little Chinese gangster they he wouldn't have survived the night t.  
Luca tipped his cane slightly and gave a sublte bow. Then, in a thick Italian accent, he started speaking; "Good Morning to you all es-Stuart and friends. I thank you very much for coming at the time we agreed upon. I have your friend here-" and he gestured with his hands, Stu watched silently as thetwo thugs reached into the cadalliac and brought Phil into the view. Stu tried very hard not to gasp at the sight of his friend; Phil looked horrible. His hands were bound with rope infront of him and he was gagged with duct tap. The white shirt and tan pants he had been wearing were torn and smudged with dirt, and was that blood? Stuart couldn't tell in the blinding light if those were bruises or just dirt on his friend's face. Luca smiled, "We had a very pleasent time together, but now it is time I returned him to you" he said, then reached for Phil, and Phil jerked, no twitched away from his grasp. Luca paid no attention, gripping Phil's arm tightly he thrust him a few steps forward "Here's your boy, now please tell me where's my four grand?" he said, keeping firm grip on Phil's shoulder.

Stuart held up the bag, and then tossed it towards Luca-one of his thugs caught it.

"Four grand, in cash, just like you asked." Stuart confirmed as he watched the thug check the bag and give the okay. Luca nodded, mumbled something in itailan and shoved Phil towards them. Phil stumbled, then fell to the ground. Stuart saw Doug's lips purse with worry. He's just tired-exhausted. He'll be fine.

"I greatly appreciate your integrity, gentlemen, but let me tell you; next time you steal from Don Luca Di Claudio, I will not be so nice. I am a powerful business man and next time your friend will not be so lucky. Do you understand?" . Luca said seriously in his accented english. Stu looked up and nodded. "Yes sir" he said and he gave a small bow. Luca smiled and tipped his head.

"It is a beautiful morning, do not waste your time staying out in this desert. I hope you have a pleasant day." Luca said, and then with a twirl of his cane, he proceeded back to the cadalliac..Stuart gave a sigh of relief. Well, the easy part is over. Now we just have to find Chow.

That was the next thing. Apparently, Chow was still a wanted man, even after his little escapade in Bangkok, and his escape from Marshall last year. Chow had left this morning, after he helped them win back the four grand for Luca. Since he was a wanted international criminal, he had told them where he was going and Stu desperately wished that he had. Earlier that afternoon, while they had been freaking out about Phil they had been taken into custody by an interpol agent who wanted Chow. Fortunately, Doug had smooth talked their way out, striking a deal with the agent; Stu's rather expensive, gold wedding ring and a promise to drop all criminal charges for harboring a fugitive for the life of Chow.

They waited until Luca and his men got back into his SUV and drove off, then Stuart walked over to Phil, who hadn't moved from the spot where he'd fallen.

"Phil?" Stuart asked, kneeling down next to his friend and tugging at the rope tying his hands together. Phil mumbled something incoherent under the gag, pulled his hands out of Stu's grasp, then sat up slowly.

"Hey buddy, how ya doing?" Stuart asked softly, pulling the tape off and putting a hand on Phil's shoulder. Immediately he felt Phil tense, and then Phil twitched away from his grasp.

"Phil? It's me, Stu. Can you hear me? Are you alright?" he asked again, his friend shuddered slightly, he ducking his head down and hunched his shoulders as if he wanted to fold into himself and disappear, but then he nodded before

turning his head away from Stuart and mumbling "I'm fine."

Stuart took out his pocket knife and quickly cut the ropes before Phil could flinch away again.

"Let's get you cleaned up, come on we still have the suite for another night." Stuart told him, and then grabbed his arm to help him up. Phil shuddered and twitched again right out of Stu's grasp. "I'm fine, I can get up myself." he murmured, then pushed himself up off the ground, swaying dangerously.

"Hold on buddy, let us help you. You look like you're about to fall over."

"I'm fine." Phil repeated

Phil pulled his shoulders back, stood up straighter then started walking towards the car. Phil gave Doug a nod of acknowledgment but when Doug reached out to Phil in a simple gesture of camaraderie, Stu once again saw the flinch.

"Hey Phil" Doug said softly and Phil froze, " We are so sorry about what happened. Chow drugged the cake. Come on, lets go get you cleaned up." and he opened the car door. Phil nodded silently and gave a slight smile, then got in the car. Doug closed the door and looked to Stuart.

"Should we get him to a doctor?" he asked

Stuart thought for a moment, we don't have time.

Doug seemed to be thinking the same thought, "Let's just get to the hotel. If it's really bad, then we'll go."

Stuart nodded, and then motioned to Alan, who was standing motionless, staring at the spot where Phil had fallen, "Come on Alan, lets go."

"They took it away from him, he can never escape it..." Alan whispered.

Stuart tried not to roll his eyes, he didn't want to have to deal with the eccentricities of Alan right now.

"It's alright. We have him now. Get in the car, Alan." he said, almost too sharply.

Alan sighed, then turned around and silently got in the car.

***

The car ride to the hotel was, if not anything else, odd. Phil sat silently, staring out the window, Alan tried to make non-sensical small talk, but all Stuart could think about was that flinch, and why, all of sudden Phil who always seemed like the leader of their little group, was acting so quiet.

"So, we're going to go to the hotel, get cleaned up and then find Chow so we can go home." Stuart confirmed, because he felt like he needed to say something to break this awful silence. Doug nodded, "Right you are, Stu. We're almost there. What do you say about a nice cold beer after all of this, eh Phil?" Doug asked lightly, turning his head to the passenger seat.

"That sounds great, Doug" he said, sounding so much like normal that Stuart gave a sigh of relief, maybe he was worried about nothing.

When they got to the hotel, they left the car at the valet and walked inside. Despite his protests that he was fine, Doug still took hold of Phil's his arm and lead him past the front desk to the elevator, voicing his concerns loudly about how Phil seemed like he was about to faint any minute. Phil argued in his usual way-making obscure, rather inappropriate jokes about Doug's love life and swearing away into oblivion. Stu couldn't help but notice that Phil refused to look any of them in the eye, orthe way Phil's breathe came in harsh gasps, or how his hands were balled into fists and-

"He's limping." Alan whispered softly.

"What?" Stuart asked

"Phil. He is limping, look." and alan pointed.

Phil must of heard, for he turned around to look at them, "I'm fine, Alan. Stu, stop worrying." he said, not quite meeting him in the eye.

As they waited for the elevator to come down, Stuart was finally able to really look his friend over;

Phil was a mess, Stuart was actually surprised that the receptionist or valet hadn't said anything. What stood out the most though wasn't the ripped clothing, or the blood and dirt that covered his friend's neck and hands, but the vast, darkening bruise that spread across Phil's face. Like someone had backhanded him. Hard.

Phil shifted underneath Stuart's gaze, seeming determined to memorize the floor pattern. When the elevator finally came, he jerked his elbow out of Doug's grasp and walked inside with shoulders held high. Like nothing was wrong. Stu and Doug exchanged glances, Phil seemed different, on edge, almost brittle.

They remained silent as they elevator climbed up to the highest floor, and deposited them at the deluxe suite of Cesar's Palace. The same suite that they, not twelve hours earlier, been laughing and well, normal. Now everything was different. As they entered the suite, Alan gave a sigh "Home suite home" he murmured, and then collapsed on the couch. Stuart couldn't help but smile. They could relax, at least for a few hours. Then they needed to find Chow.  
Stu silently looked around the room and wondered how on earth they were going to contact Chow and convince him to let them hand him over to interpol. Deep down he knew Chow didnt trust them, and even though he was close with Alan, he always was distant with Stu and Doug. Stu knew Alan was their only hope of getting the chinese gangster back, and if they didnt? He shuddered slightly at the thought of being incarcerated for assisting a fugitive. They would all spend the rest of their lives behind bars. Stu's eyes rested on Phil's aviators laying on the table, something wasnt right with Phil, but he couldnt put a pin on it. Phil seemed on the edge of falling apart, and he had no idea why. What had Luca done to him? Stuart sighed, despite his eagerness to get going, right now the health and sanity of Phil seemed more important than anything else.

Stu turned to see Doug sitting at the bar, pouring himself a drink, and Phil...Phil was where? He turned around, searching but then he heard the shower start in the main bathroom. He's just taking a shower. Relax. He walked over and joined Doug at the bar, accepting the drink Doug held out to him, the rays of the early sunrise highlighting the dark circles underneath his eyes. It seemed like ages ago that found that ransom note that threatened Phil's life if they didn't somehow come up with the money. Stuart couldn't believe that it had only been two days.

"Hell of a night." Doug sighed, exhausted.

"Ill toast to that." Stu smiled and raised his glass.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Doug asked, motioning towards the sleeping form of Alan. "He saw a lot more than anybody should ever see last night."

"I don't think it's him we have to worry about." Stu answered, and Doug frowned.

"Luca was never supposed to tor-cause any harm to him. That was the deal. He was just supposed to be a hostage." he lamented

"We have to find out what happened."

"Will he tell us?"

Then the shower stopped, and they heard the door's lock unclick and a soft thump, but Phil didn't emerge.

"I'll go find him some clothes." Stuart mumbled, and stood up. He headed towards Phil's room. Once he had gotten the clothes- a long sleeved black button up shirt and dark jeans- he knocked on the bathroom door.

"Phil? Phil, I have some clothes for you."

There was a pause, and then a muffled "Thanks." but Phil didn't come to the door.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." but the phrase did nothing to comfort Stuart. If anything, it sounded like Phil was anything but fine.

"May I come in?" Stu asked, and after a moment he took the silence for a yes.

Phil was sitting on the floor, wrapped in one of the hotel's white robes, kneeling over the toilet and dry heaving into the bowl.

"Phil? Phil are you sure you're alright?" he asked again , coming closer.

Phil started to nod, but then froze, "I-I-I..." he stuttered, and clutched the bowl. "Stu-I-can't-make it stop-ple-"

Stuart knelt down next to Phil, noticing how Phil seemed to flinch away from him, but maybe this would be easy, "Make what stop, Phil? Please, tell me what's wrong."

Phil shuddered, and then brought his head back up, pushing against the toilet and propping himself up on the wall. He squeezed his eyes shut and sat still for a moment, but then his eyes flashed opened and he gave a small smile, "it's-it's nothing. I'm fine." he repeated, seeming to come to himself just a little bit.

Stuart remained where he was, studying his friend. What had they done to him?

"I brought you some clothes, here." he said, holding up the bundle. Phil nodded, and wrapped the robe more tightly around himself, pulling the sleeves down over his hands.

"Thanks Stu."

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When Phil emerged, fully dressed from the bathroom, he seemed better, less brittle than before. He offered Doug and Stuart a smile before sitting down at the bar and pouring himself a drink, like he would on any other day, the only thing that was different was the dark bruise across his face.

"So, what's next? Did I miss anything while I was away?" he asked, almost too brightly.

Doug paused before he answered, "Well, yesterday we got taken in by Interpol. They want us to help them find Chow, in exchange for our freedom. . it's the only way won't be arrested for assisting an international criminal."

"Chow was able to help Alan win the money we needed for Luca, but he did'nt stick around after we won." Stu added, noticing how Phil winced slightly at the boss's name.

Phil nodded, tapping his fingers on the glass.

" So, they're going to arrest all of us if we don't find him? Do we have any idea where he is?"

Stuart shook his head, "I'm afraid not, he left this morning so he couldnt have gone far. Bknowing him, he might be still in Vegas."

Phil nodded. "Right. Well, I guess all we can do is look. Find leads, and hope that we find him. When was Chow with us? And what happened last night? I don't remember anything."

" Actually it was two nights ago. He was with us from the begining, and then he disappeared for a while after Woody Allen-"

"We met Woody Allen?" Phil asked with a small laugh. "Man, I wish I could remember."

"What do you remember, Phil? We've been trying to piece the night together." Stu asked

Phil closed his eyes and tapped the counter, "I remember…." he trailed off

"I remember...we had dinner at-at the buffet in the Bellagio and Alan ate a spoonful of wasabi. And...and-man I think that's it. When I woke up-I was-I dunno somewhere else, it was very dark, I couldn't move much..." Phil paused and shuddered slightly.

Stuart tried not to notice how Phil continuously spoke to the glass, instead of them, how he tried so desperately to not look them in the eye as they spoke.

Phil shook his head, " But that's not important. Stu, I know how important this is to you, so where should we start?" Phil asked

"I was thinking we could first recoup, go get something to eat, get our barrings and then go check out that strip joint next to Harrah's. That seemed like a very Chow-like hangout." Doug answered. Phil's forehead creased, "Like take a break? Don't we have a time limit or something?"

Stuart nodded, "We have until tomorrow evening at 6:00. Plenty of time to take a breather."

Phil's eyes lighted on the sleeping form of Alan, "Yeah, you guys could use a break. Especially Alan, poor guy."

Doug nodded, "We have been up all night, right Stu?"

Stuart smiled, "Yup, we're pros at it now. But you should get some rest too."

Phil's smile faded, and Stuart saw his hand twitch, "I'm fine, I don't need to rest."he stated, almost defensively.

Doug took a step closer to Phil, "Are you sure? You look beat." He took another step and reached towards the dark bruise on Phil's face, lightly touching it with his fingers "We should get that check-" but before he could finish Phil flinched away his head away, standing up from his chair and taking a few steps back.

"Phil?" he asked, Phil flinched again and took another step back and Stuart saw fear flash through his eyes.

"Wha-"

"Please...don't" Phil interrupted in an almost inaudible whisper and Doug dropped his hand. Phil shuddered slightly, and gripped the chair.

Doug sighed, and then backed away, "Alright, it's alright Phil."

Phil straightened up, "Im-Im sorry, I just-I-I-" he stuttered, balling his hand into a fist.

"It's okay Phil, we understand." Stuart answered, trying to be soothing, "You are safe now, no one is going to hurt you. Your going to be fine."

Phil's head shot up, and he shot a glare at Stuart, "I am FINE!" he said angrily

"Phil, we know you're fine, we just want to understand what happened to-"

"Fuck. NOTHING happened to me. I am fine. Look!-" and Phil walked towards Stuart and wrapped his arm around Stu's shoulders.

"See, I'm fine. Fucking Fine!" he shook Stuart to conceal the trembling in his arm.

"Nothing is wrong with me."

"We never said anything was wrong, we're just worr-"

Phil shoved Stu away from him, and took a few steps backs "Dont be." he stated flatly, and then turned around towards his room. Not quite slamming the door behind him.

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Please let me know how you liked it! Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

An unhinged silence seemed to creep through the room, the only sound was Alan's light snoring. Stuart remained where he was, staring at the door his friend had just slammed. What the hell was going on?!

He looked at Doug, who was sitting down in the barstool.

"Should we-"

"I don't know. I don't think he'll go even if we do."

"What do you think-?"

"I don't know, Stu."

Doug sighed, rapping his hands on the table. "He wouldn't let me...go near him, like he was almost scared of me. What-"

He shook his head. And Stuart sighed, throughout all their years of friendship, Phil had always been subject to their camaraderie, they all had. The high fives, and man hugs, had always defined their relationship. The quiet, almost brittle way Phil had reacted to Doug's touch was enough to cause real concern.

"He said nothing happened."

"Do you really believe that?" Doug asked, and Stuart shook his head.

"No, not a bit."

"Then what should we do?"

"Believe it." A voice rose from the couch. Alan had woken up. Stuart turned to look at the bearded man as he sat up and stretched.

"How long have you been awake?"

Alan shrugged, "Long enough, I guess." and he walked over to the window, putting his hand on the glass.

"Alan, what do mean?" Doug asked

Alan shrugged, "Your voices woke me up, but I didn't want to intrude on-"

"No no, what did you mean about Phil."

"Ohhhhh. he obviously doesn't want to talk about it. Why force him to?" Alan asked lightly, and then his face darkened, "There are some things that should be left untold."

"So we just pretend like nothing ever happened?" Doug said doubtfully

Alan nodded, "Yup."

Stuart rolled his eyes, "This is crazy. Something happened and whatever it was, it needs to be -we cant fall apart, now, not after everything we've been through." the last part was a whisper. Doug stared at him, "Should we go-" he started but Stuart cut him off with a shake of his head, "No, we all need some space. Let's order some breakfast first, and then-after."

Doug nodded, and reached towards the room service menu.

END PART 2

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After the food arrived, Stuart picked at his plate of eggs and sausages. He looked over the table to Doug, who was staring at his cup of coffee.

"I'll get him?" Stuart asked, Doug nodded without saying anything.

"Remember, nothing happened." alan reminded him, not looking up from the book he was reading. Stuart rolled his eyes, and then stood up and walked the 10 paces to Phil's door. He knocked, "Phil? Hey Phil? We have some breakfast, do you want to come out or..." The door opened, and Phil emerged, still wearing a the dark long sleeved shirt and jeans that Stu had brought him

"Hey Buddy, sure, I'm hungry!" he said, in the same too bright toned voice he used earlier, before Doug had tried to touch him. He shouldered his way past Stuart and limped towards the table.

"This looked great! Man, you can never go wrong with pancakes." he said and he helped himself to a plate, a subtle sense of disharmony settling over his efforts to appear normal. Despite the normality of the scene, the bruise on his face was a harsh reminder that all was not well. Stuart tried not to notice how, even though Phil had filled his plate, he didn't seem be be eating at all, or how his hands shook slightly as he poked the food with his fork. One thing that Stu had learned over the years was that Phil was very good at hiding his emotions. He never let anything get to him, and he was doing it now, talking and making jokes with Doug and scowling at Alan's weird remarks. The brittle disharmony that he had displayed earlier when Doug had tried to touch him was nearly gone, perhaps what he needed was some time alone to recover from whatever Luca had done to him.

"So," Phil clapped his hands. "Lets get down to business, where are we going to look first. I want to find that Chinese hipster and get out of this hell hole."

Doug exchanged a look with Stuart, they had already planned everything out; he was going to stay here with Phil and watch him, and maybe coax out just what happened. "Well, we were thinking that Chow may come back here to gather his...things." Chow had left behind a large bag of what they could only assume was illegal drugs in one of the cabinets, "So one of us ought to stay here, just in case he does."

Phil nodded, "Thats a great idea! well planned, knowing Chow he probably will come back for his stash. Who's gonna stay?"

Stuart answered, "Doug and Alan are going to go check the other casinos, just in case he's gotten caught up in game and we were thinking that you and I would stay here." he did not add since you are obviously not well enough to be walking around outside.

Phil nodded, and Stuart tensed, hoping that Phil would agree, that he would not shake and stutter like he had done before, but Phil just smiled and said "seems fair enough."

When they had finished eating, Alan stood up. "Well, might as well get started before Chow strays too far from us." he stated, and then left the table mumbling something about finding his satchel.

Doug stood up too, "You will be okay here for a little while?" he asked, mainly to Stu. He nodded, "We will be just fi-alright. We'll be alright. Just go find Chow. If he shows up here I'll call you."

Doug's face brightened, and he reached into his pocket, "Oh, by the way, Phil I have your phone." he pulled the cell out and held it for Phil to see. Phil smiled, and stood up to get it, "Thanks man", as he reached across the table, his sleeve pulled up over his wrist revealing what looked like dark bruising and….blood?

"What's that?" Stuart asked immediately, reaching for the wrist.

Phil flinched again and, pulled his arm out of Stuarts grasp, "it's nothing." he stated, and stepped backwards, away from the table.

"No, let me see Phil, please?" Stuart asked, reaching for the wrist again. This time the flinch was followed by a rough shove.

"Get the hell away from me. What the fuck are you doing?"

"Phil. Stop, just let me-"

"NO!"

Stuart managed to block this swing, forcing Phil to take another step backwards, right into Alan who grabbed him from behind, wrapping his arms around his chest. Phil gasped and struggled wildly against Alan.

"Alan! Alan let him go!" Doug shouted, he tried to get closer but Phil swung a leg towards him and he jumped back. Phil managed to wiggle free of Alan's grasp but as he made a mad dash towards the door, he tripped over a step and went crashing down.

"Phil!" Stuart shouted, rushing to his friend. Phil sat up slowly, and pulled his legs into his chest groaning softly and rubbing where his shoulder had hit the ground. He struggled backwards, trying to get back up on his feet but Stu knelt down and grabbed hold of his friend's shoulders. Phil tried to jerk away but Stu held on, not wanting to let his friend go. They had to know what happened. "Phil, it's okay, Phil. It's just me. It's Stu, please, everything is going to be okay." Stu pleaded, and finally after several moments, Phil stilled. He kept his head bowed as he fought for control over his breath, and didn't meet anyones eye as Stu slowly relaxed his grip on Phil's shoulders, and he heard Doug come up behind him.

"Phil?" he asked, but Phil ignored him as he shuddered and gasped, trying to regain control as panic took over.

"Phil? It's alright. You're safe now. No one is going to hurt you. It's just us." Stu said softly, hoping that Phil would meet his eyes but Phil kept his gaze on the floor. His breath hitched again and he clutch his wrist, the one Stu had tried to grab before he fled from the table.

Stu waited a few moments, until Phil's breathing relaxed some, and then he asked "Phil?Are you with us?", Phil paused and finally looked up at him. He nodded silently, and then moved away out of Stu's grasp.

"Let us see, Phil." Doug asked gently, and when Phil didnt move, Stu reached towards the arm and Phil allowed him to turn it over and look at the wrist. It was only when he tried to lift up the black fabric of the shirt, to see what was underneath did Phil react. He hissed and tried to pull his arm away, but Stuart held on.

"Its alright. We're not going to hurt you" Stu said, and he felt Phil's arm tremble as he pushed the sleeve over his forearm. He tried to contain his gasp, as he saw what he had seen at the table: dark patches of dried blood from deep diagonal cuts that went up and down his. There were several hand shaped bruises, and a deep rope burn right before the wrist. He heard Doug gasp, then yell at Alan to call the front desk for a first aid kit.

"Phil...Phil why didn't you say anything?" Stuart asked quietly, Phil kept his head low, not looking him in the eye. "It's nothing." he whispered to his knees.

"No, this is not nothing. You have to tell me, what did they do to you? Just this?" Stu asked, Phil nodded but remained quiet for several beats but then he answered in a small whisper:

"My other arm. They pulled my hands up behind me, tied me to a chair."

He heard a knock at the door, but Stuart stayed where he was, staring at Phil and silently cursing Don Luca for his cruelty.

Then, "But he made them stop, after he saw. Just this, nothing else."

"Who, Luca?"

Another nod.

"Why would they do this? You were just a hostage. They were'nt supposed to hurt you." Stu said

Phil shrugged, "He didnt believe me when I told him I didnt remember anything, but it was true. I couldnt-I-I didnt know why I was there, or who they were-" he broke off with a sob and his other arm-the one that wasnt injured-came up to his face, he sniffed and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"they wouldnt stop. They won't. I can't make them." he mumbled. Stu frowned. This was the secound time Phil had said that and he still had no idea what it meant.  
"What do you mean? Phil?" Stu asked, but Phil just shook his head. The brittle dishrmony was returning, and Stu didnt know how to stop it.

"Did they do anything else? Are you hurt anywhere else?" Stu asked, and Phil shook his head.

"Maybe we should take him to the hospital?" Doug suggested. Phil's eyes flew up in panic, "No! No. I'm fine, I'll be fine. Please don't, I don't want to go there. I just was to go home. please." he said, looking between Stu and Doug, eyes pleading. Stu frowned but didnt say anything.

They waited silently until Alan came over with the first aid kit in his hands, he knelt down next to them, his eyes were dark and grave.

"The first aid kit is here, let us fix your arms"

Phil finally reached for him, he grasped Stu hand, and his eyes were fierce.

"There is nothing else wrong with me, I am fine." he insisted, an obvious lie.

Phil gripped Stu's hand until his knuckles turned white and his arm shook, "There's nothing else wrong with me" Phil repeated, the dark bruise on his face and the tremble in his arm giving away his claim.

Stuart swallowed, but nodded.

"All right." he said.

888

The room remained quiet, the only sound was Phil's harsh breathing as he sat still and silent while Alan tended to his arms. The left arm was just as bad as the right one. Stuart and Doug exchanged glances, what were they going to do now? It was obvious that Phil was lying when he said there was nothing else wrong.

"We have to get going, Stu. We gotta find Chow before tomorrow night." Doug said, a bitter reminder that they were on a time limit, that they couldn't afford any more delays.

"You and Alan stick to the plan. Go look up on the roof, in the casino, anywhere that he might have gone too. I'll stay here, in case he comes back. Maybe I'll try to email him, let him know what we have." Stuart suggested.

"All done." Alan announced, closing the first aid kit and looking up at Stuart. Phil muttered "thanks" and pulled his sleeves back over his arms, hiding the white bandages from sight. Alan touched Phil's knee lightly, and his brow furrowed with concern as Phil twitched away from his touch. Alan stood and leaned over close to Stu.

"Be sure to watch him." he warned in a grave whisper. Stuart nodded, then patted Alan's shoulder.

"Thanks Alan. Now, go help Doug out." Alan nodded and walked over to where Doug was standing.

"Phil..." Stu started, and he waiting until Phil was looking in his direction before he continued. He squatted down next to his friend, "Phil, look at me." he asked, hoping, praying that phil would finally look him in the eye. Their eyes met for a second and then Phil looked away, staring into his knees and Stuknew it was pointless to ask what happened.

"Alan and Doug are going to go now, do you need anything?" he asked instead

Phil shook his head, "I'm fine." he repeated in a small whisper.

Stuart nodded, "Okay." feeling slightly lost on what to do now. He stood up and looked at Doug, who was waiting with Alan by the door.

"Go, we'll be fine." he told them, and added what he hoped was a reassuring smile. They hesitated for a moment, and then Doug headed towards the door, with Alan in tow.

Stuart waited until the door was shut, then he sat down next to Phil with his back against the couch. Just play it cool, like today was any other day.

" What a crazy weekend, huh? I swear, this is the last time I'm ever heading out to Vegas." he said, turning towards Phil, who was picking at a thread on his jeans, staring intently at his knees.

"Yeah." he replied after a moment, "It was."

"Alan's a great gambler, without him we wouldn't have come up with the 4 grand."

"I'm glad you did."

"Yeah."

Then silence. Phil shivered and pulled his legs in tighter and Stu watched helplessly as Phil tried to pull himself away from what he could only assume were memories of what happened.

"Phil?" he asked

Phil's head jerked up, and he clutched his hands together.

"Sorry." he mumbled, and he put his hands up to his face. Stu was startled to see that his friend was battling for composure. Phil had always been the strong one, never wearing his emotions on his sleeves, or voicing his own troubles. He had always been there for Stu and Doug, always with an answer and a solution.

"No, it's alright." then Stu sat up straighter, "Come on, lets go sit by the window. you can help me figure out how to email chow on that ipad Doug's got." he suggested. Phil nodded, the pushed himself up to standing.

"Good idea. I was thinking we could set up a time to meet, and use his stash as a bargaining chip, then he might come willingly." he said, almost normally and then he strode over to the couches by the window without waiting for Stu.

Stu got up stiffly and followed him, very aware of the sudden change of followed phil and found him on the couch nearest the window, doug's ipad in hand.

"Do you know the password?" he asked lightly

"Yeah, its Vegas, uhh 8-3-4-2-7 I think." stuart replied, Phil taped on the pad.

"Wow, youre good, it worked."

"Good." Stuart said, before sitting down on the couch across from Phil, now knowing that his friend didn't like being in close contact with anyone. If Phil noticed it, he didn't say anything. They sat in silence as Phil tapped out an email on the pad with a fierce determination that didn't quite fit in with the quiet peacefulness of the room, or it's view.

Stuart watched Phil, the sunlight coming through the window highlighted his face, making the bruise appear deeper and darker than it was. Phil moved slightly, and his shirt shifted revealing his neck and part of his collarbone, and several dark oval shaped bruises, nearly as dark as the one on his face. T Stuart thought back to what Alan had said earlier, they took it away from him, he can never escape it. What did that mean? Could they have-no that would have been too cruel, even for Luca's men. Stuart sighed, this was just another fragment of the story of Phil's captivity, He silently cursed Marshal as he added the bruises to the growing list of injuries that he had inflicted. You should say something, maybe he'll be willing to talk about it now that it's just us.

Stuart took a deep breathe, and then asked, "How did you get those bruises, man? They look painful." Phil froze for a few moments, then he shrugged and shook his head.

"Not sure, probably during the night, I don't remember."

He's lying.

"Are you sure? What about the one of your cheek, did Marshall or one of this men do that?"

Phil paused again, like he was battling internally about whether he should say anything or not. then he gave the slightest of nods.

"And those cuts on your arms. did he did those too?"

Phil shrugged. Stuart leaned over the coffee table and put one hand on Phil's knee, only as a gesture of reassurance. "You know you can tell me, right? I swear I wont let anybody else know." Phil moved his knee out of Stuarts grip.

"I know, Stu. It's just-" he sighed and closed his eyes, squeezing them tight.

He took a deep breath, than said "Im fine. Just a little spooked. When-when I woke up I had no idea where I was or who I was with and they-they weren't the most hospital people. I-" he broke off with a wince but it only lasted a few seconds before he gave a small smile, "Doug's usually plays the hostage, I guess-I didn't expect it to be me this time."

"I am so sorry, Phil. I swear, this is the last time we're ever coming here."

Phil laughed softly, "We keep saying that, don't we? And now, well let's hope its the last."

888

Please read and review!


	3. Chapter 3

888

Somehow they managed to get through the day. Doug and Alan were gone most of it, apparently they had tracked Chow down near the US border, and were driving down to pick him up. Doug gave Stuart exclusive orders to stay in the suite, and not let anybody in or our until they got back. Despite Stuart's best efforts to get Phil to tell him what happened, Phil never spoke about it so he eventually stopped bringing it up. As long as no one touched him, Phil was- for the most part-the same as always.

It was about 3:30 when the phone rang, making them both jump. Stuart picked it up and stood, pacing the floor.

"Doug, please tell me you have good news."

"We got him, Stu. Everything is going to be fine. We just have to keep him until tomorrow."

"Yeah, that'll be the easy part." Stu said, trying to keep the sarcasm at a minimum.

"Anyway, we're heading back now. Probably take us a couple hours. How's Phil?"

Stuart looked up at his friend, who was reading a magazine near the window.

"He's fine, he- hold on." STu said, and then quickly walked into one of the bedrooms, out of hearing range.

"He's a little freaked out. I don't know what they did to him, but he has bruises all over-and he wont let me near him. We gotta bring him to-I don't know- somewhere he can feel safe, where he can get some help."

"As soon as this is over, we will. He will be fine. I promise." Doug said, trying to be comforting.

"Will he?" Stuart whispered

"Yes. Now, we will be there in a few hours. I'll let you know when we're close. We can have dinner at that buffet-, sound good?" Doug asked.

Stuart sighed, "Sou-what about Chow?"

"We have him drugged out of his mind in the back. He'll be fine."

"Good. See you soon! And Doug? You did good."

"Thanks buddy, bye."

Stu walked out of the room and back towards Phil, who was still reading on the sofa.

"That was Doug, they found him and are bringing him back." Stuart said

Phil smiled, "That's great! Then we can finally get the hell out of here."

He shifted and winced slightly, but then the moment passed and he looked up to Stu.

"How's Chow? How'd they get him to come?" he asked

Stu shrugged, "Drugs, I guess."

Stu sat down, "They're driving back now, then we're gonna all meet for dinner. Sound good?"

Phil nodded, "Sure."

"Phil-"

"For the last time, Stu. I am fine-"

"I know you're fine, I was just going to say that it might help if you tell me what happened-"

"Nothing happened. I'll get over it and be fine. Ive done so much messed up shit in my life that this will be easy to forgot. I will be fine."

Phil smiled a little, "Really, I am okay."

"Okay, but the offer still stands, if you need anything-"

"I'll let you know. I know, I know Stu. Stop worrying so much!"

He went back to looking at the magazine, flipping the pages to conceal the shaking in his hands. Stu furrowed his brow and watched his friend reading, like everything was normal. But it wasn't. None of this was, Phil was usually so open about everything, to the point where he told him things he didn't want to know. But this, whatever it was, Stu needed to understand because Phil was acting different, like something had scared him. But why would they do that? He had just been a hostage, Doug had always come back okay whenever he had been taken. Sure, he had been a little shaken, they had kidnapped him, but they never hurt him. This time was so different, he just didn't know what to do. How could he make things alright when Phil wouldn't even look him in the eye? Stu sighed suddenly frustrated, what was Phil not telling him?

"No." he said

Phil looked up from the magazine

"No what?" he asked

"No, you're not okay." Stu stated, but immediately regretted it when he saw the panic flash through Phil's face.

"What do you mean? I said I was fine." Phil answered, putting the magazine down and sitting up straight.

"But you're not, you're not fine, Phil. You have bruises everywhere, and those cuts. Who did that to you? Did you?" Stu asked

"What? Did I? No Stu! Why would I do that?"

"I dont know, maybe because Luca tortured you?"

"Tortured? What are we, in the fucking middle ages or something?" Phil asked

"But he did do that to you, didn't he?" Stu continued, motioning to the bruise, and then to the bandages.

Phil sighed and then held up his hands, " Alright, alright. If you must know, It-it wasn't Luca. Some of his I-dont-know- people thought it would be fun to take a couple swings at me, but he made them stop. After he saw what they did. Nothing else happened." he finished, looking down at his knees. Stu sighed, he was still getting the feeling that Phil wasn't telling him something but he felt like he shouldn't pry any more.

"Okay, that's all I needed to know, Phil. I was worried. You haven't been-"

"Haven't been what?" Phil cut in, he shifted again on the couch and Stu saw him wince.

"Y-you. You've just seemed a little off ever since-"

"Well, I'm fine. Im going to be fine. Can you just drop it?" Phil asked

Stu sighed, this was going no where. "Fine, you're right. You're fine. Im going to go shower, if you need any-"

"I'll let you know. I know. Stop worrying about every little thing." Phil cut in, annoyed.

"Right. "

And Stu left towards his room, leaving Phil by himself on the couch.

888

After the shower, Stu spent the time pacing in his room generally worrying about Chow, Doug and Alan, and Phil's deteriorating state of mind. What had happened to him? He was definitely not okay, but he kept saying nothing was wrong, that nothing happened. How were they going to fix this? What if it got worse? What would Stephanie say? Would they tell her? What would she do, when she saw how broken her husband was? This would be the end of them hanging out together for sure.

He looked up at the clock in his room, it was nearly 6. Doug and Alan should be back soon. He quickly fixed his collar in the mirror and then opened his bedroom door. Phil was asleep on the couch, curled into an almost fetal position and snoring softly. Stu walked softly over to the bar, stepping quietly so he wouldnt wake his friend. As he was pulling a bottled water out of the fridge, his phone rang. Stu winced at the loud noise, hoping it wouldnt wake Phil, but it didnt. Still, Stu went into the next room before he answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Stu, it's Doug. We're just pulling into the hotel. We have Chow in the back, so we're gonna park and then bring him up there."

"Sounds good, do you need help?"

"No, he's a small son of a bitch. Go get us a table at the buffet, we will meet you there."

"Great."

"Everything going okay up there? How's Phil?"

Stu sighed, "Phil, Phil is fine. I think he will be, you know how quick he bounces back."

"That's good. So, we will meet you there?"

"Yup."

And Stu hung up, and walked back into the living room. He wondered if he should even wake Phil up, but then he remembered that Phil hadnt eaten anything all day. Dinner would do him some good.

"Phil?" Stu asked, gently touching his friend's shoulder.

"Phil?"

Phil woke with a jump, and sat up, shrugging away Stu's hand.

"Hmmm wha?" he asked, still sleepy.

"Doug and Alan are back, with Chow. We're going to meet them at the buffet for dinner." Stu told them, and Phil nodded.

" Downstairs?" he asked

"Yup, at the buffet."

Phil hesitated for a moment, but then nodded, "Alright."

He stood up slowly, and Stu motioned for him to walk first towards the door. Phil pulled his sleeves down further to cover the bandages, then walked over to the table and grabbed his sunglasses. He put them on, the lenses half hiding the bruise on his face. With the glasses on, he looked almost normal. Phil noticed Stu's stare, he shrugged his shoulder;

"What?" he asked

"Nothing, nothing. Let's go." Stu answered.

The elevator ride down was silent, Phil leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. When they got to the restaurant, it was busy and crowded with early diners. Phil stopped short, so quickly that Stu nearly ran into him.

"Phil?" he asked

Phil shook his head slightly, and dug his hands deeper into his pockets.

"A-actually, Im not that hungry, I can just go back upstairs." Phil said quickly, turning around.

"No, wait. Phil!" Stu grabbed his arm and stopping him.

"You gotta eat something, man. Come on, it's not that crowded. And look, there is Doug and Alan."

He pointed as he saw them emerge from the stairwell, covered in dust and looking exhausted.

Phil jerked his arm out of Stu's grasp and took a couple of steps back.

"There's too many-I dont know." he said softly, and then "I-I need a minute." he turned away from them, and Stu was surprised to see that his eyes were glassy under the sunglasses. Stu stepped away from Phil.

"Alright, Im going to talk with Doug. You okay here for a moment?" he asked and Phil nodded. Then Stu walked up towards Doug and Alan.

Doug gave a tired smile, "Hey man, how's it going?"

"It's alright. Thank you so much for finding him." Stu said, smiling.

"How'd it go today?" Doug asked, then he noded towards Phil.

"Everything okay?"

Stu shrugged, "Fine, I guess. He's fine, he will be fine, he just needs a minute. Come on lets go eat."

Doug nodded, but the concern didnt leave his face, "Alright. Come on, Alan." he said, but Alan was staring at Phil, who was still battling for composure.

"What's wrong with Phil?" he asked, real concern in his voice.

"Nothing, Phil is fine. Let's go." Stu said quickly, knowing that when Phil was ready, he would follow them.

"Can I go talk to him?" Alan asked. Stu and Doug exchanged looks, it wouldnt hurt, would it? Alan had always looked up to Phil, and who knew, maybe Alan would make him better.

"Sure buddy. Doug and I will go get us a table."

Stu motioned for Doug to follow, and they both headed towards the hostess. It wasnt until they were seated that Alan came back inside, alone.

"Where is Phil?" Stu asked, concerned that Alan had let him go off by himself.

"Guys, we need to talk." Alan said seriously. He sat down in the booth and looked at Stu, and then to Doug.

"What's up, Alan?" Doug asked

"This won't work." he said, and Stu tried very hard not to roll his eyes.

"What wont work, Alan? Where is Phil?" Stu asked again.

"He took one look at this-" Alan pointed to the restaurant, crowded with diners, " and nearly ran back upstairs."

Stu looked around, it was crowded but that had never bothered him, or anyone else including Phil before.

"Why? Did he say something?" Stu asked, but Alan shook his head.

"No, I could just tell."

"Then how about we move outside, onto the patio. Will that work?" Doug asked, Alan though for a moment, and then nodded.

"Yes. I'll go get him, and we'll meet you out back."

"Are you sure thats-" Stu started to ask, but Alan had already stood up and started walking towards the door. Stu looked at Doug, who shrugged.

"Let's go?" he asked, and Stu nodded.

After they had moved outside, Phil and Alan joined them. Phil was quiet, a sign that meant he was battling with his memories again. These episodes never lasted long, after a few moments Phil would come back, smile and go back to being noticed, once again that Phil only picked at his plate, barely eating any of the food on it. His doctor instincts told him to make sure Phil ate, but he knew if he said anything it would only bring attention to the fact that Phil was not okay, so he stayed quiet.

It was Alan who brought a sense of normalcy to the group, as he rambled on about random things that no one else really cared about. If anything, it seemed to keep Phil grounded, which was good. Stu sighed, this time tomorrow all of this would be over, and they could finally all go home and forget that this weekend ever happened.

888

Not much changed in this one. Next one is brand new though :)


	4. Chapter 4

888

"Chow still should be out, we spiked his drink with Alan's ADHD meds." Doug said, as they waited for the elevator.

Stu nodded, "Good. Think we could call Ethan, square the deal off early?"

They still had 12 hours to go before the set meeting time.

Doug shrugged, "Yes. Let's get him off our hands. Plus-" he nodded towards Phil, who was leaning against the wall, eyes closed behind his aviators, who remained quiet but the the subtle sense of disharmony was returning..

"Hey Phil? Remember the beach in Bangkok?" Stu asked, deciding to try something, to see if he could help pull Phil out of whatever was haunting him.

Phil opened his eyes.

"Hmm?"

"We had those beers, and we watched the moon rise" Stu continued, and Phil gave a small smile, "Yeah, that was great."

"Haha remember when I mixed up those bags of marshmallows?" Alan added with a small laugh.

"Hahaha, Alan." Doug laughed sarcastically.

"And Stu made love to that man-stripper." Alan added with a smile.

Stu felt his stomach tighten, why did Alan always have to bring that up?

"Hey! What happened to the never-speaking-of-that-again-pact?" Stu asked shortly, annoyed.

Alan covered his mouth in mock surprise, "Oops, sorry man."

Stu sighed, "It's okay, Alan. Just don't bring it up again."

Stu shook his head, and traded and annoyed look with Doug. He shook his head, but then his eyes went to Phil. Stu followed his gaze and saw that Phil was staring at him, and odd, almost pained expression on his face.

"Phil?" he asked, but the beeping of the elevator made Phil jump, and he looked away. They rod up in silence. Phil gripped the handrail, and Stu saw that once again he was fighting for control. Stu looked over to Doug with a worried look; these episodes were becoming more frequent, and neither of them really knew what to do. Doug reached out to Phil, but then stopped when Phil flinched away.

"You alright?" he asked

"I'm fine."

And then doors opened. Alan shouldered his way forward, "I hope Leslie is up. I'd like to start a game of D and D."  
They opened the door, and Stu smiled. Now they just had to get Chow back to-

"EVERYBODY FUCKING FREEZE!" A voice shouted and Stu felt both Phil and Doug jump back a few inches as a bright spotlight blinded him.

Their room was crawling with cops. What was going on?

Stu raised his hands and tried to remain calm.

"Alright, alright." he said, trying not to flinch as a large man in a uniform approached him with a gun.

"Get in here. Now. Come on, move!" he shouted and gripped Stu not so nicely by the scruff of his neck. Stu was thrust into the middle of the room, where four more cops pointed were pointing guns at them.

"Agent Smith. You are under arrest for illegal dealings with the Mafia." he said, showing them his CIA badge.

"What? No no, we werent doing anything. This is all a big misunderstanding!" Doug pleaded, keeping his hands up in the air and flinching away from the guns pointed at them.

"then why did you meet with Luca Di Claudio this morning in the middle of the desert?"

"Wait wait. We're undercover for Interpol. I swear. They wanted us to talk to him!" Alan shouted and Stu winced. Thanks a lot, Alan. Atleast they hadnt found Chow in the closet yet.

The agent froze, obviously thinking things over, but then he said "We will still have to take you in anyway. We've been wanting a lead on Luca for a long time now" he said. Stu sighed. They didnt have time for this, but did they really have a choice anymore? He looked over at Phil, who was standing next to Doug and staring at his feet.

The agent motioned with his hands and the other cops lowered their weopens. "Take them to the station, we'll question them there. I'm going to call the station, let them know we're coming. I'll meet you outside" he said, and started walking towards the door.

The cops were not cruel, but neither did they take the time to be kind. One of them shovedStu forward, holding his arm in a vice like grip. Stu tried not to struggle, knowing it would only make the situation worse. He watched as another cop approached Phil and tensed. What would Phil do? Phil flinched away from the cops grasp, but the cop just rolled his eyes and gave Phil a shove.  
Then Phil twisted away from the cops grasp and seemed to snap.  
He turned on the cop, kicking and hitting, and if he had been clear-headed he might have managed to overwhelm the cop and escape down the hallway, but the sudden panic had reduced him to a desperate animal.  
And Stu knows well enough by now to see panic behind that anger.

It took three cops to pin Phil down, one holding feet and another practically sitting on his chest. The third held Phil's hands together over his head..Stu surged toward his friend, struggling against the cop holding him back, and desperatly tried to reason with his friend "Phil please, they will not hurt you, I promise. It is not the same, I won't let them hurt you, I promise, please listen. You must breathe, just breathe, no one will hurt you here – you idiots, you're making it worse!"  
"What is this?" a voice asked, and the room suddenly went quiet. the CIA agent had returned, looking in on the scene with a look of disgust on his face. , "I told you to put these men in the car 15 minutes ago. Lieutenant?."  
"This one attacked us," the cop holding Phil's hands reported. "And then he started kicking us, we had to restrain him, sir!"  
"Just let him go," Stu heard a sudden plea, and he pushed against the cop holding him so he could turn around and face the Alan, who stood next to the cop that was holding him, and was surprisingly calm.  
"You are making it worse, can't you see he's just trying to get away?" Alan said, looking from the Agent, then to the cops still holding Phil down on the ground.  
The agent paused, and then, to Stu's surpirse said"Let him go,.He's going to hurt himself trying to get away if you don't. Let him go. Block the entrance so he can't get out, but let him go."  
The cops holding Phil down exchanged a skeptical glance with eachother but do as they are commanded, releasing Phil and jumping back as he shakily stood to his feet. For an instant he stays still, his chest heaving, eyes darting back and forth from Stu and the agent.  
"Phil," Alan says calmly, taking a few steps towards him "Phil, I swear to you, it will be all right. No one here wants to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you," he says, and Stu watched as Alan aims a death glare at the agent that cleared promises worse things than murder if he is made a liar.  
"Let the fat one go too," the agent says, and the cop holding Stu's arms pulls him back, away from Alan and Phil. Stu doesn't struggle, but watches silently as .Alan approached Phil carefully, hands stretched out , trying not to startle him more. Phil is shaking as Alan grabs both of his hands and pulls him close to him.  
"Everything is going to be fine, Phil but you have to pull yourself together. They are not going to hurt us" he says softly.  
Phil looked up at him, face crumbling with emotion. "They won't stop. I can't make them stop. It's hurting me. Please, please I can't do this." he pleaded in a dry whisper and Stu felt his face burn with embarrassment that this raw moment of vulnerability must be witnessed by strangers  
"It's all right," Alan says, and there is a pause, but then Phil nods and straightens his shoulders. He grips Alan's shoulder with his hands and then takes a step back, indicating to the cops that they could bring him in now. Stu watched in silence as the cop closes in again and Phil flinches a little, but when one takes him by the arm, hesitant, as if Phil will go crazy again without warning, Phil drags in a deep breath and willingly lets the cop handcuff his hand behind his back before walking with him out the door.  
Another cop grabs Alan by the arm and leads him out next, not even bothering to handcuff him. The cop next to Stu gives him a push forward and Stu walks out without a struggle.

The car ride over to the station was silent. Stu was wedged in the middle between Phil and Alan. Doug was all by himself inother police car, right behind them. Stu can feel Phil trembling next to him, and he can hear his harsh breathing as he tries to control his emotions. They were sure to ask Phil about Luca, and Stu had no idea how Phil would react. He obviously didn't want to talk about it. Not now, maybe not ever. And being manhandled by the cops probably wasn't what Phil needed right now. He could barely stand to be touched by anyone, which was why he had reacted to violently towards them in the room. Stu wanted to say something-anything to reassure his friend that they were going to be okay, but he didn't know what to say. What could one say?  
When they finally arrived at the police station, Stu was exhausted. This trip was not going well, but with all the other shit that happened, he found himself being strangely calm. They would somehow get out of this. The cops opened the door and pulled them out one at a time, and Stu noticed that they kept an extra tight grip on Phil, even though his hands were cuffed behind him and felt a surge of anger. Phil wasn't dangerous, he was just scared! Why didn't they understand that? They were lead inside the building and into a holding pen.  
"Sit." the cop demanded, pointing over to the table. Stu nodded silently and sat, not wanting to get them into deeper trouble than they already were. Doug sat down across from him and Stu watched as he pulled out the chair for Phil, who was still handcuffed. Phil sat silently, looking down at the table. The cop turned to leave, "Wait! Arn't you going to unlock his hands?" Doug asked, pointing at Phil, who remained still and silent. The cop just sneered slightly before turning around and slamming the door shut.  
"This is ridiculous. Did you see the way they treated us? Can't they see that one of us is hurt?" Doug rants, banging his fist against the table and making them all jump.  
"Doug. Doug, calm down." Stu says quietly.  
"No! No Im not going to fucking calm down. This is bullshit, we shouldn't even be here. We have to get Ch-" but then Doug pauses, "Phil to the hospital." he finishes, looking up at the mirror. Stu nodded, they were probably being listened to right now. Doug was right though, they needed to get Phil somewhere that he felt safe, so he could trust them enough to tell them what exactly happened to him.  
Being handcuffed in a chair in a police interrogation room probably wasn't helping at all.  
"Phil, are you alright?" Stu finally asks, looking towards his friend.  
Phil shrugs his shoulders and lets out a shaky breathe, he nods and whispers, "I'm fine. I'll be fine." without looking any of them in the eye.  
"They are probably going to ask you about Luca. Will you be okay?" Stu asks. Phil shifts his arms and then winces as the cuffs clink together.  
"I'll-I'll try, but I can't-" he winced again.  
"You'll be fine."  
"But I don't remember anything, I can't. They're going to ask me all these questions that I don't know the answer too, and I can't do it." Phil stutters, looking helpless.  
"I don't know how-" but then he was cut off by the door opening. Agent Smith walked in, a grim look on his face. He walked over to Phil, who visibly flinched away from him, and bent down to unlock the handcuffs.  
"I'm sorry about the way my boys treated you. They were a little shaken up about what happened in the hotel." Smith said, putting the cuffs down on the metal table. Phil remained stiff and quiet, uncomfortable that the agent was still standing too close to him.  
"Please, Agent Smith. Phil's been through a lot this weekend, we all have. We're tired and we just want to go home and put this weekend behind us." Stu said  
Smith walked over past Phil and sat down in the empty chair at the foot of the table.  
"Gentlemen, let me introduce myself properly. My name is Agent Earl Smith, I am an Agent for CIA. We've been tracking the east coast mafia for several years now, and have been following Don Luca Di Claudio since January. Early this morning you drove 30 miles out into the desert to meet with Luca, and we would like to know why." he said, eyes darting from Stu to Doug, to Alan and finally resting on Phil.  
Stu sighed, and said, for what seemed to be the millionth time; "we were drugged on Saturday night and we have no memory of what happened. We got ourselves into heaps of trouble, and have been trying to fix what we broke all weekend. We drove out to the desert to meet with Luca because he took Phil hostage Saturday night and we needed to get him back."  
Smith nodded and wrote something down in his notebook.  
"Why did he take Phil hostage? You must have taken something from him first?" he asked. Stu hesitated, he didn't want to get alan or chow in trouble.

"Well, apparently we accidentally took $4000 from Luca Saturday night, by mistake."  
"Then he took Phil as a hostage to get it back. Got it." Smith said, writing down the information.  
"Phil? You were at their Vegas headquarters. Can you tell me where those were?" the agent asks, pointing his pen at Phil.  
Phil shrugged, but then answered; "I was slipped the same drug as they were. I don't remember anything about that night."  
"Where were you Sunday morning?" the agent asked  
Phil shuddered a little, and Stu knew he was trying to gain control again.  
"I-I dont know. It was dark the whole time. I didnt even know that I was being held hostage." he finally said.  
The agent nodded, and pursed his lips, obviously frustrated that Phil wasnt giving him the information he wanted.  
"Do you remember any details? Anything at all the might give us a clue to where he might be?" he asked  
"Uhhh. It was damp, and kind of musty." Phil said  
"So maybe you were underground?" he asked  
Phil nodded, but didnt say anything else.  
"Did they say anything to you? Offer you any kind of deals?"  
Phil paused, and the bruise on his face gleamed in the harsh light.  
"Oh yeah. After beating me up, they offered me tea and cookies. It was a pleasure." he sneered sarcastically  
"Do you gentlemen have anything else to add?" he asked, looking from Stu, to Doug, to Alan and ignoring Phil's last comment. Stu shook his head.  
"I'm sorry we havnt been more helpful, but we're telling the truth. None of us remember what happened."  
"That's alright. I'm sorry for taking your time. And giving you a scare. I think that's it for now. Let me finish this paperwork and you are free to go." he said, closing his folder.  
"And I'd get that checked out if I were you, a broken cheekbone is a pain in the ass to fix." he said, pointing at Phil, who flinched slightly away from his hand. The agent paused and dropped, giving Phil a thoughtful look , "I am sorry for the trouble we caused you, if we had realized that Luca had hurt you, we wouldn't have been so rough." he said  
"Would you like us to bring you to the ER?" he then asked, Phil shrugged, "I'll be fine." he said, not looking him in the eye.  
"Alright. I'll just file this paperwork and you will all be free to go. We can give you a lift back to the hotel."  
"Thank you." Stu said, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. This had all just been a major waste of time, time that could have been spent making sure Phil was okay.  
Twenty minutes later they were back in the elevator at Cesar's Palace once again. This time though,Phil was on the verge of a panic attack and neither Stu, nor Doug knew how to calm in down. His breathe came in sharp hitches, and his hands were trembling so badly he couldnt get a grip on the handrail. He had held his own in the interogration room, but now that it was over his emotions were taking over.  
"Phil? It's going to be okay." Stu said softly, Phil shook his head and his hands came up to his hair.  
"Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop." he mumbled in a bare whisper.  
Stu exhcanged looked with Doug. This was the worst they had seen him all day.  
"Doug? Doug what do we do?"Stu asked  
"I dont know, Stu. But I'm going to call Ethan the minute we get up to the room. He can come collect Chow and then we will be out of here. You hear that, Phil? We are going home. Tonight, right after Chow is gone." Doug says in a comfrotaing voice, for both Phil and Stu's benefit.  
Phil takes a few shaky breathes then lets go of his hair and crosses his arms across his chest, keeping his head down and nods that he understood.  
"You are going to be okay. I promise you, it will all be better once we are out of here." Doug countinues, and Phil nods again, then he finally looks up at Doug.  
"You promise?" he asks in a dry whisper that sends chills up Stu's spine.  
Doug nods, "I promise."

Then the elevator doors open, and for the secound time that night, the four of them enter the suite. Stu enters first, making sure that this time there were no cops hidden in the corners. But,Chow wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Chow? Leslie?" Alan asked

And then they heard a shrill war cry as Chow came barreling out of one of the closets, welding a lamp as a weapon. He missed Stu by a few inches and tackled Phil -who happened to be standing behind Stu-head on, sending them both crashing to the floor.

"You kidnap me?" he shouted, slamming the lamp into Phil's chest.

"No-no Chow-" Phil tried to protest but was caught off by Chow's strangled scream.

"You fuck with me?!"

Stu ran forward, remembering how Phil had reacted with the cops earlier. Phil was already on the verge of a panic attack, a fairly unstable act to be in already. Who knew what he would do now? But before Stu could do anything, Phil grabbed the lamp from Chow, twisting over and slammed the lamp down next to Chow's head. They both struggled to grab it as both Stu and Doug circled them, trying to stop them from killing each other.

"Hey! Stop!" Doug shouted, standing helplessly on the sidelines as they fought. Finally, Chow threw Phil off and struggled to standing, a bruise forming underneath his eye.

"What's his problem?" Chow asked. He straightened up, then took a step towards Phil, who was still on the floor, breathing hard and fighting for control. Stu stared at Phil, of course Chow hadnt known what Phil had gone through, that the slightest touch would trigger an almost violent reaction.

"You got problems, dude." Chow said, leaning over and slapping Phil's shoulder. Phil shuttered, and then grabbed Chow's arm and pushed him away, and Chow fought back. Phil didn't care though, he lunged at Chow with a strangled cry.

"Phil! Phil stop!" Doug shouted, grabbing at Phil's arm, but Phil pulled away and shoved Doug. Hard.

"Stop!" Phil shouted then he shot Stu a panicked look "Please, please please stop." he pleaded, his whole body trembling. But Chow didn't he grabbed the lamp and struck him on the back, Phil grunted and rolled away, grabbing the lamp from Chow, he held it out in front of him, pointing it at Chow, then Doug, then Stu, arms shaking.  
Alan grabbed Stu's arm, eyes pleading "He doesn't know where he is! Stop! Just let him come back!"

"What?" Stu asked

"Just stop, let him come back!" Alan asked again.  
Stu stared at him, "What do you mean?"  
"Let him calm down, he has to understand that we are not them. That we wont hurt him." Alan explained, but then Chow made a grab for the lamp, but Phil was quicker. He smacked Chow in the chest, sending the little Chinese man flying with a screech. Phil scuttled backwards, holding the lamp defensively out in front of him.

"Phil…" Doug started, taking a a step towards him, but Phil gasped and held the lamp up higher in a defensive position.

"Don't come any closer. Stop." he said, hands shaking "Stop, stop!" he scooted backwards until his back his the wall, his breath coming in gasps.

"Stop. Stop. No. NO!" he shouted, the lamp clattered to the floor as his hands came up to grab his hair.

"Phil?" Stuart asked again, taking a few steps towards his friend and kneeling down a few feet from him.

"Phil." he said, trying to bring him back, to do anything to make -whatever this was- stop. Phil gasped shuttering he clutched his hair, but then he looked up at them and his eyes were pleading.

"Doug, Stu-make it stop. I cant-they wont stop-I cant-please." he stuttered "Im fine, FINE, no. They wont stop-I can't. No no NO no!" he continued, pounding his head against the wall and pulling at his hair with each word. Stu inched closer and reached out his hand.

"Phil, stop. It's okay, everything is going to be okay-" he said

"No, no no. Stop! Stop!" The mantra continued. Stuart dropped his hand and watched helplessly as his friend was once again takenover by panic.

"Doug, call...call someone. We have to help him."

"Okay." he heard Doug move away, towards the phone but Stu stayed where he was. Phil didn't seem to see him anymore, he continued the chanting and hair pulling. Then, suddenly- finally Phil reached for him, grabbing his arm and pulling him close, his eyes wide with panic.

"Stu, I-I-cant. Please, Please they won't stop. Please, make it stop." he pleaded

"Phil. Phil. Okay, we will. I promise." Stu answered, grabbing hold of Phil's other hand.

"Just stay with me. Phil, Phil look at me." he demanded and Phil finally looked him in the eye. Stu almost flinched away at the broken soul staring back at him, and then he realized just what Luca's men had taken. He barely heard the arrival of the medics, and then the murmurs as Doug told them what had happened.

A medic knelt down next to them, holding a needle.

"Its a sedative." she told Stu.

Stu nodded "Phil, listen to me." he said, and waited until their eyes locked, "Everything is going to be okay. We're going to make them stop, I promise." he said.

"Keep talking, I need to pull his shirt down." the medic asked, and Stu nodded again.

"Phil, you're going to be fine." he continued, keeping a firm grip on Phil's hand. But Phil flinched and struggled when the medic touched his arm to pull down his sleeve.

"Look at me, Phil. We're going to help you." Stuart told them, and they locked eyes again.

"Remember in Bangkok, when we lit the lanterns. It was so beautiful, as they drifted across the water…" Phil stared at him, hanging on to every word.

"Done." the medic said, pulling the needle back. Phil panicked slightly as the drugs started to kick in.

"Stu? Stu? I-I-" he stammered

"Shhh, it's going to be okay." Stu comforted him, squeezing his hand, and finally Phil's head dropped, and he slumped against the wall.

"We're going to take him to the ER." the medic told him, and Stu could tell she was nearly as shaken as he was.

"Alright. Doug and I will follow."

Alan, who had been standing motionless, watched silently as the medics lifted the unconscious Phil into a stretcher and pulled him away.

"Alan, you alright?" Stu asked, and Alan nodded slowly.

"You stay here with Chow." Stu continued, motioning towards the unmoving lump that was the small Chinese man. Alan nodded again.

"Is Phil going to be okay?"

"He's going to be fine, buddy. Don't worry." Doug answered.

"Just stay here. We'll let you know when we get there." Stu added

Alan nodded again, and then backed up until he was sitting on the couch as Doug and Stu exited the room slowly.

888


	5. Chapter 5

888

Doug drove the Mercedes, following the ambulance to the hospital. Stu took in a shaky breath, this was all happening so fast.

"You okay, man?" Doug asked

"Yeah, just shaken up. Ive never seen-"

"I know. Me too."

"The way he looked at you when Alan brought up that-that incident in Bangkok, before the cops took us in." Doug mentioned softly,

"In the elevator?"

"In the elevator. He looked, I dont know- like he was realizing something-do you think thats what Luca-"

"Yea. I think so. It all makes sense, the way he wouldn't let us touch him, or how he wouldn't look anyone in the eye. Until now."

"Will the doctors be able to tell?" Doug asked

"I mean, they'll have to do tests, or something, right?"

"I think so." Stu answered

They pulled into the parking lot and Doug turned off the car. The ER was quiet when they walked in. The only sound was the clicking of the nurses heals as they walked up and down the hallway.

Stu and Doug sat silently next to each other, neither of them knew what to say. Stu felt drained, and exhausted-like he had been traveling for months, instead of just a few days. How did it come to this? Phil had always been the strong one, the one that held them together when things went to hell. What were they going to do now? Stu kept thinking back, to yesterday, they should have brought him here right away. Why didn't they? Phil hadn't been alright, they all knew it yet they had done nothing to help him. Except for Alan….

"Alan knew something about this, he said something right after we got him." Stu whispered.

Doug looked at him, "What?"

"He said that they changed him, they took something he could never get back, and then tonight, he was the only one who knew what to do."

"He's a good friend. He's always looked up to Phil-he-"

But then they were interrupted by an approaching doctor.

"Are you with Phillip Winneck?" he asked, and Stu nodded. They were they only ones in the empty emergency room.

"Hi, I am Dr. Johnson-"

They both stood up and shook hands. "How is Phil?" Doug asked.

Dr. Johnson nodded, "Phil will be fine." and Stu let out a breathe he didnt know he was holding.

"He is still out, but you can see him if you want. We did a full exam, we found a few things…"

The doctor looked up from his clipboard and met Stu's eye, and Stu saw the same look Alan had given him earlier; a grave sad look that meant he had seen something nobody should have to see, something that Phil would never want anybody to know, ever. Stu knew the feeling all to well, after Bangkok he felt like he could never look anybody in the eye again, he felt tarnished, tainted with the aftermath of an event that never should have happened.

Stu stood up straighter, "What did you find?" he asked, and the doctor motioned towards a private room. Stu suddenly felt that the less people knew, the better so he put his hand on Doug's shoulder.

"Why don't you go sit with him, I'll talk to Dr. Smith."

"But-"

"Go. He'll want someone there if he wakes up." Stu insisted.

"Room 304, on the left." Dr. Johnson added

Doug nodded, "all right."

Stu squeezed his shoulder, and then followed Dr. Smith inside the room. He sat down in a chair, flipping through his chart.

"We found bruises, a few cracked ribs. When he wakes, we would like to conduct a S.A.E" the doctor said calmly, looking Stu directly in the eye as he spoke.

"S.A.E?" Stu asked, confused by the medical jargon.

The doctor hesitated for a moment, but then answered "A sexual assault exam. Some of the bruisings indicate a forced attack. We just want to make sure everything is accounted for, and if it was a sexual attack, we are required to report it to the police."

Stu felt a cold sense of dread spread through him, and he desperately wanted this conversation to be over.

"It would be best to have him see someone, who he can talk to about what happened to him." the doctor continued, and Stu nodded.

"May I see him?" he asked. The doctor paused, he looked like he wanted to say more, but then he nodded.

"Yes. Let's go see your friend." he said, and then stood up, motioning for Stu to exit the room.

888

Phil was still sleeping when they quietly entered the room. Doug was sitting next to him in a chair he had pulled from the desk. He stood, mumbling about finding another chair as he left out the door. The doctor rambled on about bruises, cracks and dehydration but Stu wasn't listening, that shattered look Phil had given him playing on repeat in his mind's eye.

"Do you know who his attacker was?" the doctor asked, and Stu hesitated before shaking his head.

"We're required to file a police report on all attacks and assaults." the doctor continued. Stu shook his head again, knowing that Luca was a very powerful Mafia Boss, he didn't want to risk it. Especially since they now had families they needed to protect.

"And the lacerations on his forearms, were they self inflicted or…" the doctor trailed off, and Stu shook his head again.

"No-no! Phil would never-he was attacked, and beaten!-"

"Okay, okay. I just needed to check. I am re-"

They were interrupted by a beeping, and Dr. Smith checked his pager.

"Ive got to go now, if you need anything just ask on of the nurses to page me."

Stu nodded and he saw Doug in the doorway, holding a second chair in his hands. He stepped in as the doctor stepped out.

"Hey." Doug said softly

"Hi."

"I got you a chair."

"Thanks."

They both stared at the sleeping Phil, the only sound now was the quiet beeping of the monitor. Doug sighed, and then walked over and put the chair down next to the window.

"Think we should call someone? Stephanie?" he asked, and Stu shrugged. . Phil had always been a proud father, and a loving husband despite his sarcastic comments about the married life. Stu knew he would do anything for his family, except go to Disneyland with his inlaws. Maybe that's why, when the trip to the happiest place on earth loomed into view, Phil had pushed so hard for a trip to Vegas. Stu never understood it, but at least it was just Disneyland.  
"I drove past their house last week, there were Mickey Mouse bouquets on the front lawn." Doug said

"Really? Oh the horror."

"Yeah. No wonder Phil wanted to get to Vegas. Disney is great but, with a 18 month old. Can you imagine?"

"I know."

Doug sighed, and then placed a hand lightly on the bed.

"So what do we do now?" he whispered

"We wait." Stu answered, and then walked over to sit in the chair. Doug sat down in the other chair. It was silent for a few moments and then they both jumped as Doug's cell rang.

"It's Alan." he said, then stood up and went outside to answer it. Stu watched him go, them turned to look at Phil, who was still out cold from the drugs. What else was Phil hiding from them? Stu shifted in his seat, what would it be like when he awoke? What would he even say to him? Stu had no idea.

Doug came back in, sticking his phone in his pocket.

"Alan wants to bring Chow now, he's been freaking out about it." he said.

"What time is it?" Stu asked

"Quarter to 9. He's not due until 6:00 tomorrow evening."

"Then we have some time." Stu said

"Yeah."

"Go calm him down, I can stay here." Stu said, lightly taping the bed.

Doug nodded, "Okay. Will you be all right?"

Stu nodded, "Yeah. We'll be fine."

"Call me if he wakes up.

"I will."

Doug touched the bed, concern flooding his handsome features and then turned to leave the room.

Stu read a magazine, and the another. Even though it was late, he didn't feel tired at all. He suddenly felt antsy, so he stood up and paced for awhile, then walked over to the window and looked up at the stars. They had always been a comfort to him, even in the worst of times. He stared up at them, and his mind began to wander, back to Bangkok-back to when he had found out what he had done. He felt his hands go sweaty at the very thought of it and suddenly felt a pang of guilt. He was the lucky one, because he didn't remember what happened to him. Phil did, and it was killing him from the inside out. Stu winced as he remember what Phil had told him; Just forget about it! I've done so much messed up shit it my life that I just forget. Like it never happened. Will he be able to forget about this?  
Stu didn't know the answer, and thats what scared him the most.

888

Stu woke with a start as a hand gently shook his shoulder he opened his eyes and saw a women dressed in a janitor's uniform,. He had fallen asleep in his chair by the window. He was surprised to see that it was light outside, he had slept all through the night.

"Sir, we have to clean the room now, Go get a cup of coffee, we'll be done by the time you get back." she said kindly. Stu nodded, still fighting away sleep.

"Phil?" he asked

"Your friend is fine, still asleep."

"Okay."

Stu left to find some coffee, and some breakfast. He called Doug, and then Lauren, walking around the hospital almost in a trance. Vaguely wondering what he would say to Phil if he woke up. He honestly didn't know. What could you say to your best friend who just was raped? Was there a manual he could read for this? He didn't know, and felt as if his mind was slowly freezing. Finally after circling the hospital several times, he headed back to the room. He walked through the door, and then felt himself freeze;Phil was awake.

Stu forced himself to smile and slowly walked over to the chair, keeping in Phil's range of sight.

"Hey buddy, how ya doing?" he asked gently.

Phil blinked a few times, still fighting off the drugs. He squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered slightly, then opened them again looking up at the ceiling. He was quiet but Stu still found no ease at this apparent peace, Phil seemed empty. Void.

"Phil?" he asked again, and finally Phil moved his head to look at him.

"Where...?" he asked groggily

"You're in the hospital, we took you here after last night. Do you remember?" Stu asked

Phil furrowed his brow and shook his head. Then struggled to sit up. Stu helped tilt the bed up so he could sit, being very careful not to touch him. Phil pulled his knees up to his chest and looked down at his hands. He fingered the IV attached to his left hand, eyes following the tubing up to the hospital monitors. His head moved slightly, and Stu realized that Phil had said something.

"Phil? What did you say?" he asked softly, hoping that Phil would answer. Phil was silent for only a moment, but he then said, "Why-"

"Why did you bring me here?" he asked in a dry voice, barely audible.

"Why?" Stu asked

"I said I was fine."

"Phil-last night, we were worried. You weren't-weren't yourself. You haven't been yourself since Lu-" but he stopped when he saw Phil wince at the name.

"Don't…" Phil whispered, closing his eyes and holding up his free hand.

Stu sighed, he didn't know what to do, or say. Phil seemed so different now, so brittle and on the edge he just didn't know how to act.

Phil sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"Phil, we weren't-you did not hurt anyone, except for Chow and believe me, that little son of a bitch deserved it-its just, we needed to know what happened to you."

Phil ducked his head, "so you know?" he asked, his voice a dry whisper but before Stu could answer Phil continued,"You know that I, a grown man could not defend myself against them? That I was weak? As helpless as a child? Used?" he asked

Stu answered carefully, "Phil we know it wasn't your fault. They-they tortured you. They weren't supposed to hurt you. We should have brought you here right away, we should have known. I am so so sorry, Phil." Stu finished, looking up at his friend.

Phil shook his head. "But I'm fine. I will be fine. I just need some time to forget." He gave a little shudder and drew his knees in closer, clutching at the blanket with his hands. Stu watched helplessly as his friend fought the memories. Phil then started speaking in a thin, quiet whisper.

"They-they threatened you guys, and my family ...I couldn't-I couldn't let them hurt them or you. They said they knew who you were, and where you lived. I couldn't—I needed to protect your family—you have a kid now. I wouldn't let them hurt you."

Stu felt his heart jump at the mention of Lauren, and their newborn daughter Jamie, but he let Phil continue.

"I-I-thought I was protecting you and I thought maybe, just maybe it was worth it but it hurts-"

Phil broke off, resting his forehead on his knees and grabbing his hair. Stu reached out and touched Phil's shoulder, trying to be a comfort but he dropped his hand when he felt Phil stiffen. From the vicinity of his knees, Phil continued speaking rapidly in a desperate whisper.

"I didn't want anybody to know-to know how weak I was so I tried to be okay. I tried-Ive tried all day but I cant, it hurts too much."

"Phil" Stu said quietly, "You're the strongest man I know, I-"

But Phil shook his head, "No! No I'm not-you can't say that, I'm not-not anything anymore…" he started rocking back and forth, pulling his hair. "No-No I'm not, you can't-you can't. No no no no…" the vibrating sense of contained mayhem returning as he continued chanting softly.

"Phil!" Stu grabbed Phil's hands long enough to stop them from pulling at his hair but let immediately when Phil winced and pulled away. Phil continued speaking, in the same rapid, desperate voice.

"I cant stay here, I have to go away, where no one knows…"

"Phil, why?" Stu asked, how could his friend think so little of them, that they wouldn't want him around after they found out what happened.

"You are one of my best friends, do you really think I would let something like-like what was done to you change anything?" he asked

Phil scowled in disbelief, "Everything has changed! I'm changed. I'm damaged, not worth anything That's what they said."

"No Phil-you're not-"

But Stu was cut off by a sharp laugh, "I suppose I could just off myself now, they said that's all I'd be good for, when they were done with me."

"What?" Stu hissed, appalled that Phil would even think that, "Phil, no."

Phil looked up at him, and Stu forced himself not to flinch away from the shattered soul looking back at him.

"I can't be like this, don't you see? I don't deserve to be here, after-you don't need me like this."

Phil shivered and he rubbed his arms. Stu stared at him, lost at what to do. He know Phil had been hurt, they all did. Phil had allowed those men to hurt him, torture him, making him believe that he was protecting Stu and Doug, and their families. Stu felt sudden tears in his eyes, Phil had sacrificed everything he had in order to make sure that they were safe and now he was broken because of it.

"Phil, Phil listen to me." he said, and Stu waited until Phil was looking at him to continue.

"You are the bravest, strongest man Ive ever know. You're the father of two beautiful children, and the coolest school teacher in all of LA. And best of all, you are my best friend."

Phil stared at him, a desperate home in his eyes, but then he shook his head.

"I'm not-I don't know, I can't…"

Stu smiled softly and he rested his hand on Phil's arm, careful of the bandages beneath the hospital gown.

"Yes you can, because you are not only the strongest, but the bravest man I know."

Phil smiled a little, and Stu saw a flash of the old Phil, but then it was gone.

"Im sorry about all this, you must think I'm insane, I've tried-"

"Phil, we all know you've tried, no one thinks less of you."

Phil's eyes flashed up in panic, and he seemed to deflate a little.

"What does everyone...does Stephanie-?"

"No! No Phil it's just me-"

"Who else then?" he asked

"The doctors, they did an exam but they just told me, no one else. Doug and Alan are still at the hotel, they don't know anything yet, but they are worried about you. What happened with the police—"

"No one needs to know." Phil interrupted in a small whisper and then his eyes flashed up.

"Please, don't call Stephanie, I don't want her to worry, she's had her hands full all weekend. This mean a lot to the kids, Disneyland." he asked, eyes pleading. Stu nodded, "Of course, your secret is safe with me. But Phil, she's your wife, don't you think she should-"

Phil cut him off with a shake of his head, "No one can know." he repeated.

Stu squeezed his arm lightly, but Phil twitched it away, so he let go. Phil then reached for him and grabbed Stu's sleeve with his free hand.

"But we are safe now. You are safe. I want to-I want to believe-I try to tell myself that it was worth it. Keeping my family, and yours —Lauren and Jamie safe."

"No" Stu whispered bitterly, eyes filling with unshed tears. "It was not worth this, not my friends body and soul."

"No" Phil whispered. They stared at each other, something settling between them. Phil left go of Stu's sleeve and grabbed his hand.

"We're gonna be okay, I promise." Stu said softly "We're gonna get Chow outta here, tonight at 6:00 and then we can get out of this hell hole and go home."

"And then what?" Phil asked in a whisper.

"We forget, and move on. It's the only thing we can do."

Phil nodded.

"Okay."

888


	6. Chapter 6

888

The call came at 6:05. Stu scrambled for his phone in his pocket trying not to wake Phil, who was sleeping, exhausted from a day of prodding, poking, questions and examinations. Stu stepped outside and answered, "Doug, please tell me something good."

"We did it, man. Everything is going to be okay. They took Chow, no questions asked."

Stu felt a wave of relief hit him. "We're driving back now."

"Oh thank god."

There was a pause, and then Doug asked "How is he?"

"He's-" Stu paused, how was Phil? Throughout the day, Phil had been quiet and composed, answering the doctors questions and allowing them to examine him-touch him without totally loosing it. Only Stu, who had spent time with Phil the day before and knew the signs could tell that it was getting harder and harder for Phil to find his way back. Phil had distanced himself from them, covering his true emotions with his irresistible charm and quick-wit comments.  
"He's going to be fine. They want to keep him one more night." he said

"Have you called anyone yet? Stephanie?" Doug asked

Stu sighed, he probably should. "Not yet, he-he asked me not to, but I should. Shouldn't I?"

"I guess so. Do you want me to-"

"No, no thats okay. Concentrate on getting back safely, I'll do it." Stu said

"Im pretty sure we missed check out time, We'll go deal with the hotel and meet you in the hospital as soon as we can. Sound good?" Doug asked

"Yup, perfect. Just charge it all to my card, we'll figure it out later."

"Thanks man."

"Bye."

Stu hung up, and started to scroll down his contacts for Stephanie's number but then stopped, remembering what Phil had said. He closed his phone, feeling that Phil should have a say in this, seeing that so much of these past few days he had been forced to let other people make decisions for him. The doctors weren't much of a comfort either, with all their blunt medical questions and comments about how it would be better if they admitted Phil into the hospital's psychiatric ward. Stu did agree with them Phil needed help, just not here, in Las Vegas. If they could just get home, everything would be sorted out. They just needed to get out of here.

Stu sighed, and then reentered the room and saw that Phil was awake. He had already propped himself up to a sitting position, and was struggling against the IV tubing attached to his left hand to reach a glass of water on the desk.

"Hold on buddy, I'll get it for you. Don't get up." Stu said quickly, walking towards the desk and grabbing the glass.

"I don't understand why I have to have all of this." Phil stated, motioning with his free hand. "I'm not sick."

"I know your not, but it's just IV fluids, you were seriously dehydrated when you came in." Stu answered, handing him the water. Phil took it, and then motioned to the monitor attached to his forefinger.

"What's this then? It's just sitting there, not doing anything."

"Thats the Heart Race Monitor. It's monitoring your heart beat." Stu answered. Phil took a sip of the water and leaned back in the bed. "Why do they need to monitor my heart?" he asked.  
Stu shrugged, "hospital procedure, I guess."  
"Do they always use so much tape?" Phil asked  
"Yes."  
"Well, it sucks."  
Stu couldn't help but laugh, and Phil smiled at him. "Are you laughing at me?"  
Stu shook his head, "No, well, maybe a little. Im glad to see that your feeling better."

Phil's smile faded a little bit, "yeah...me too."

There was a pause, and then Stu held up his phone.

"I just got off the phone with Dougie, he and Alan are on their way back."

Phil nodded, "Everything went well? Chow?"

"Chow is long gone. We're just about ready to head home." Stu said with a smile.

"Oh thank goodness. I'm really tired of this hospital crap. You know, the nurses are not even hot here."

Stu laughed and put his phone down, "Classic Phil."

"Now your starting to sound like Alan."

"Hahahahaaaa."

A nurse walked in just then, holding a tray of food. "Good evening!" she said with a smile, bringing the tray over and setting it down behind Stu on the desk. "How's everything going?" she asked

Phil gave her one of his smiles, "Great, everything is going great."

She smiled back, "Im glad to see you're feeling better, Mr. Wenneck. Now, be sure to eat your dinner, Dr. Johnson will be in a little bit later to go over the results of your tests."

Phil nodded, not skipping a beat. "Sure thing, thank you Samantha."

The nurse smiled and then left, closing the door behind her. Stu turned to look at the tray, "Yummm doesn't this look good?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh yeah, looks delicious. I'm not that hungry though." Phil said, shaking his head.

"Phil. You have to eat, the doctors are monitoring you and if you don't they wont let you leave. Don't you want to go home?" Stu asked, and Phil rolled his eyes.

"Fine, toss me the chocolate pudding."

"No." Stu shook his head

"What? Come on Stu!"

"Eat your veggies first. What am I, your mother?" Stu sighed, slightly exasperated he picked up the tray and placed it in Phil's lap. Despite how happy he was to see that Phil was bouncing back, he was still worried. Phil was still distracting them all from the real underlying issues like his refusal to eat, or meet anybody in the eye with that charming wit of sighed loudly, then jabbed a broccoli with his fork and stuffing it in his mouth. Stu smiled and sat back down in his chair. Phil had changed so much in just a couple of days. He still carried this brittle tension, that wasn't anything like the down to earth nature Stu knew his friend to be.

"Stop looking at me like that, Stu. I'm going to be fine" Phil said putting down his fork.

"Like what? Im not looking at you like anything. I'm just...watching you eat, which isn't creepy...when Im your best friend…." Stu trailed off

"Like...I don't know. I don't need your pity right now." Phil said, picking up his fork again and stabbing another broccoli with so much force that-

"You've got chocolate pudding on your arm." Stu said, pointing the the brown smudges, standing out against the white of the bandages that still covered the cuts and bruises from before.

"Oh crap, that doesn't look good, does it?" Phil asked, looking around for a napkin. Stu turned around and grabbed a tissue from the desk.

"Here." he said, reaching over to dab at the spot. Phil flinched at the sudden close contact and took in a sharp breath. Stu immediately pulled his arm away and leaned back.

"Sorry, sorry I forgot-"

"No no don't apologize Stu." Phil squeezed his eyes shut, "I'm being silly, I'm sorry. I don't know why-" he trailed off and opened his eyes, staring at the dinner tray. You idiot Stu scolded himself, why did you do that? You know he can barely stand to be touched. How can he trust you if you keep doing this?

"You're not being silly." Stu whispered and Phil looked up at him.

"Thanks for being here, man. I know it hasn't been easy."

"I will always be here for you, Phil. You know that." Stu said, smiling at his friend.

"Are Stu and Phil going to get married?" a whispered voice awkwardly asked, floating in from the doorway. Stu looked up and saw Alan and Doug standing by the door. Alan was looking at Doug, a very serious expression on his face and Doug was trying not to laugh.

"No no, Alan. They are just friends."

"But he just said-"

"That's what friends do. We look out for each other."

"Like a husband and wife?"

"Sure….Hey Stu!" Doug said brightly giving him a little wave and walking over, Alan following close at his heels. Stu smiled back and nodded.

"Hey Dougie, Alan. How'd everything go?" he asked

"All went down smoothly. Everything is in the car." Doug said then turned to Phil, touching the bed softly.

"Hey Phil, how ya doin' buddy?" he asked

Stu saw Phil's hands tremble before he balled them into fists. Something had been triggered, was it the touch or-Stu though back to yesterday, at the restaurant there's too many people standing up around him. But then Phil smiled and looked up at his friend.

"I'm doing alright, not getting married though, that's Stu's job!" he laughed, and then walked over to Phil's other side and sat down. Alan followed him and sat down on the floor. He pulled out his cell phone and started playing Angry Birds.

Doug and Stu stared at each other, and then at Phil. Out of all their years of friendship, nothing like this had ever happened before. Except, there was that one time in college where Doug had his heart ripped out by the girl he was sure he was going to marry. He had been depressed for weeks after she left, but Phil and Stu were there for him, picking up the pieces. They were always there for each other. After Bangkok, Stu had battled with himself for days, trying to put himself together after he found out what he did. Phil was there for him then, they all were and now he was determined to be there for Phil. This was different though, Phil had been hurt, badly maybe to the point where it was above Stu to do anything for him. Stu didn't know how to handle something...something like this. Sure, the concept of rape was not unknown to him but it was something that he always heard on the news, or in stories usually followed by words like "murdered" and "kidnapped". Never would he have thought that something like this would happen to someone he knew, and cared about dearly. Based on the look Doug was giving him, Doug didn't know how to handle this either. But he knew that they would try to help Phil as much as they could.

Because that's what friends were for.

"So" Doug started, looking at Phil then at Stu "How did today go? Did the doctors help…?" he smiled and held up the pudding, "Oh yeah, it's been great here. All the free pudding in the world." he said, not quite looking Doug in the eye.

"We're gonna get out of here soon. Dr. Johnson said they will release us tomorrow, then we can finally go home." Stu added with a smile.

Doug nodded and smiled a bit, "Have you had the chance to call home yet? I would love to hear about Steph's latest adventure in good ol'Disneyland" he asked playfully but then his smile faded as he saw Phil go rigid. He exchanged an apologetic look with Stu, and Stu mentally added talking about Steph to the ever growing list of possible triggers.  
"Nobody has called yet, and please don't worry, Phil. I didn't call, I was waiting to ask you before I did." he said and then he looked at Doug, "No one else has to know about this, alright?"

Doug nodded, "it never happened." he said, with a little smile. Phil looked at Doug, and then over at Stu.

"Thanks, guys." he said softly "But listen, don't call Stephanie. It's the kids first time in Disneyland this weekend. I don't want to ruin it by making their mom worried about me. Like I said, I will be fine in a few days."

"Alright, alright Phil. We won't, we promise." Doug said, touching Phil's shoulder lightly. Phil moved away from his touch, shifting in the bed and wincing slightly. Doug put his hand down, and then looked up at Stu, who gave him his best I'll talk to you about it later look.. They all jumped at the sudden knock at the door, but it was just Dr. Johnson coming by to check in on them.

"Good evening Phil, Stuart and friends?" he said, motioning to Doug and Alan. Doug stood up and introduced himself, and then pointing to the floor introduced Alan who was too wrapped up in his game to notice what was going on.

Dr. Johnson pointed to his clipboard, "I have the results of the tests were preformed today. I'd like to go over them with you if that's alright." He said softly, looking up at Phil.

Phil nodded quietly, "Okay." he said faintly.

"We can go, Phil if you want to speak with him privately." Doug said motioning towards Alan, and then the door. Phil nodded again, looking down at his hands. Stu stood up, knowing that Phil wouldn't want him, or anybody hear what the doctor had to say.

"We'll be right outside, Phil. If you need anything, please don't hesitate-"

"I know" Phil answered, eyes flashing up.

"Alright, come on Alan lets go get something to eat." Doug said, ushering Alan out. Stu nodded at Phil and followed behind them.

888

"How much do you know?" Doug asked, "Do you know what they did to him?"

They were sitting in the hospital cafe, eating cold panninis and trying not to think too much about what their friend had gone through. Alan had his head on the table, earphones in his ears. He was exhausted, they all were.

Stu hesitated, but then decided that it wasn't worth hiding the truth from Doug. He would find out eventually.

"I know enough to know that we are in way over our heads" he answered with a wince.  
"What do you mean?" Doug asked, brow furrowed in concern.  
"Phil was assaulted—sexually, but it was more than that. They threatened him, threatened to hurt us—me—you—our families if he didn't let them play their….their games." Stu sighed, and then looked up at Doug.  
"He let them hurt him because he thought he was protecting us. They took advantage of our friendship, manipulated him into thinking that this was the only way. I—-" Stu broke off when he heard his voice crack and felt his eyes burn, "I—don't know if I can live with that. He sacrificed so much. He has to get better, Dougie. I don't know if I can live with myself if he doesn't" he said, shaking his head.  
"Oh no." Doug said softly, "He's always been there for us, always with an answer—a solution. Always protecting us. I can't believe they did that to him." he said, suddenly angry, he banged his hand on the table and making Alan jump.

"God damn it! Those bastards. If I ever get my hands on them I swear I'm going to kill them. every last one of them!" He said

"Shhhh. Doug. I know—Im livid too, but there's nothing we can do. Do you remember what the CIA agent said? Luca is the most powerful Boss on the east coast. We can't get near him, we're lucky-"

"Lucky?" Doug sneered, "You call this luck. Look around you, we're in a fucking hospital because that fat fuck attacked-raped our best friend-" he gestured with his hands. Stu closed his eyes, "I know. I know, Doug. There is nothing fair about it, but we can't go chasing after Luca. He'll kill us, and our families."  
"Damn it all. Fuck, and if we hadn't been drugged in the first place, this would have never happened." he said acidly, shooting a death stare at Alan.  
"Doug…." Stu warned  
"What? It's true—"  
"Don't. Not here, not now." Stu whispered harshly, knowing that they should keep quiet but then at the same time feeling furious at Alan. This was his fault, he was the one who drugged them, he was the one who pushed so hard for Vegas. It wasn't fair, none of it was, but that was beside the point. What happened, happened, and now they had to deal with it maturely, for Phil's sake. They couldn't fall apart like this, they couldn't turn on each other like wild animals.  
"You need to calm down, Doug. I know you are upset. We all are but we can't do this now. Not when Phil needs us the most, we need to be his anchor. We're the only ones he trusts—"  
"But he still won't let us touch him. He's still so scared." Doug said, desperation lacing his voice.  
"I know, I know. He won't let anybody touch him, it's not just us. I think it's just a reaction, they beat him, hurt him when he was most vulnerable and thats bound to leave some scars."  
"And the hotel, it was like he wasn't even seeing didn't know where he was, or who he was talking to. It was scary, man." Doug asked, voice shaking a little. "Ive never seen him like that before."

"I know, I know. Sometimes, the doctor said that sometimes when someone has gone through a traumatic event, they experience flashbacks, like they are reliving it. Its called PTSD-post traumatic stress disorder." he tried to explain, feeling like he was doing a bad job of it.

"Is that what he has? Because of happened to him?" Doug asked,  
"I think so." Stu answered honestly.

Doug nodded, "Will he get better?" he asked

"Yes, of course he will. You know how fast he bounces back. We just have to be there for him. Maybe he can stay with one of us until they come back, make sure he's not alone." Stu said

"He can stay with me, I know you have your hands full with the twins." Stu added

"Are you sure?" Doug asked

"Of course, he gets scaredbut—I noticed yesterday-I know how to pull him back, when the flashbacks come." Stu added, trying and failing to find the right words to describe what he was trying to say.

Doug nodded, "Right. Trace and I actually know someone, a psychologist who can help. When we're home. It's best if he saw someone, right?"

"I think so. But we should let him decide, when he's ready."

"Right. Thanks for being with him, Im sorry I wasn't much of a help back at the hotel. I didn't know what to do, or say-"

"Its okay, Doug. I didn't know either, he- I still don't know what I'm doing." Stu sighed

"But your a doctor, didn't you learn about this stuff in school?"

Stu scoffed, "Doug, I'm just a dentist. PTSD didn't come up much in oral hygiene class."

Doug laughed alittle, "I guess not"

Stu checked his watch, "It's been about half an hour, should we go back to the room now?"

Doug nodded silently.  
"Will you be okay? I know you're upset but you can't say anything to Phil. He needs us to be his rock, he has to know that he can trust us." Stu said seriously.  
Doug nodded, "I'll be fine. I—I don't know what I should say though—"  
"Just be there for him. And don't mention Luca…or Vegas…or what happened last night."  
"Right. Or touch him."  
"Or touch him." Stu confirmed and then reached over to poke Alan who woke with a start.

"We're heading back to the room now, Alan." Doug explain, and nodded sleepily.

"And then we can go home?" Alan asked groggily

Stu and Doug both nodded, "Yes."

888

"I'm not sick."

"I know Phil, just hold on-"

"I don't need to be pushed around like some old person. Fuck man, just let me walk!" Phil protested grumpily as Stu rolled him down the hospital hallway in a wheelchair.

"It's hospital policy, when we're at the car you can. I promise." Stu said, trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice. This was like the fifth time Phil had complained about the chair. He felt kinda bad, there was no reason why Phil shouldn't be walking, but rules were rules. Phil was doing it again-hiding his anxiety by covering it with sarcastic and witty comments. Besides that, Phil seemed better, less artificially bright and brittle than he had been all weekend.

Doug and Alan were waiting at the curb with the car. When Stu stopped the wheelchair, Phil hopped out with a look that clearly said I'm fine. He smiled at Doug, but flinched away from Alan as he awkwardly tried to hug him. Stu quickly turned around and checked the wheelchair back in, and then headed back to the he returned everyone was inside, ready to go. Phil had taken shotgun, so Stu climbed in the back with Alan.

"Alright, lets get the hell out of here and go home!" Stu said with a smile, patting the passenger seat.

"Ciao Ciao Vegas, until next time!" Alan shouted. Stu shook his head, there definitely wasn't going to be a next time. He was still recovering from the last time they conquered Vegas.

"I'm so excited to go home, I am exhausted." Stu stated, and he saw Doug nod.

"I might take a couple of days off from work, and try to get this damn piercing removed." he said.

Alan laughed, "Hahaha I totally forgot you had that. What a weekend!"

Phil turned around in the seat, "What piercing? Did it happen again?" he asked

Stu blushed, "Yes, yes it did. When we woke up like 3 days ago with no memory of what happened, I found this." and Stu pointed at the bright pink industrial bar in his left ear.

Phil smiled, "Aww man, I wish I could have been there to see you wake up to that."

"Yeah, me too." Stu said, looking up at Phil. When Stu, Alan and Doug had woken up three days ago in the hotel room, with no memory of the night before Stu had almost killed Alan. The first two times he had nearly forgiven him, but a third? Really, Alan? And then they had realized that Phil was missing.

"You know, I'm still trying to piece that night together myself. What exactly happened?" Phil asked, and Stu paused. Phil didn't remember anything either? How scary it must have been to wake up to the likes of Luca, and his men.

"Well, Alan decided to rooffie us. Again. For old times sake." Doug said sarcastically, shooting a glare at Alan.

"Guys…" Stu tried to facilitate

"You drugged us again, Alan?" Phil growled, staring at Alan.

"Guys, don't. Alan already said he was sorry." Stu said. Phil sighed and turned around.

"Your right, your right. Sorry Alan." he grumbled.

"It was almost exactly like last time, except that we stole Woody Allen's Oscar trophy, instead of Mike Tyson's tiger." Alan added with a laugh.

"Really? Man we do dumb stuff when we're fucked. Was I there when that happened?" Phil asked curiously.

"The first thing we did was look through Stu's photos on his camera. We're like experts at this now." said Alan and Stu rolled his eyes.

"Its not something to be proud of." Stu mumbled.

"We figured out that you went missing around 4 or 5 in the morning, but then later we ran into Luca's thugs and they told us they had kidnapped you because we stole $4000 from them." Alan continued nonchalantly.

"Oh." Phil tensed, and bit his lip

Stu could have smacked Alan. Didn't he realize what he was saying?

"Alan." Doug whispered harshly

"What? I was just making small talk." Alan argued, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And I know the rest." Phil said softly.

They drove in silence but Stu didn't mind the quiet. They only had about 3 hours to go before they reached LA. All of a sudden Stu couldn't keep his eyes open, the rocking of the car making him very sleepy. He wondered for a second whether Doug and Alan would be okay with Phil on their own, but sleep over power him before he could make a decision.

888


	7. Chapter 7

888

"Stu? Hey Stu?"

"Whaaaaa?"

Stu woke to someone awkwardly poking his shoulder. He opened his eyes to find him face to well, nose with Alan.

"Hey Stu, you awake?" Alan asked

Stu straightened up in the seat. They had stopped, presumably at a gas station.

"Yes, yes I am awake now. Whats up, Alan?"

"We've stopped for a bit." Alan said

"Yes, I can see that."

Stu looked around and he saw Doug filling the tank up, but Phil wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Where's Phil?" Stu asked

"Oh, he went inside to grab a water. He said he was okay." Alan replied

"You didn't go in with him?" Stu asked

"No, he said he was fine. But then I decided to wake you up anywhere, just incase you needed a water or something." Alan answered

"Thanks Alan."

Stu got up stiffly from the car and walked outside. It was hot and dry, like it always was in the desert. Stu stretched, then walked towards the little food station. As he entered he sighed gratefully at the A/C, he turned down the aisle and saw Phil looking at the sodas. Despite the heat, he still wore a long sleeved shirt, probably to conceal the still present cuts and bruises on his forearms.

Stu approached him slowly, "Hey, man." he said softly. Phil turned his head and smiled.

"Hey Stu, did you have a nice cat nap?" he asked

Stu smiled, "oh it was great. You doing okay? Alan's not bothering you, is he?"

Phil shook his head, "No, no I'm fine" he paused for a moment, then looked up at Stu, "Do you think he understands any of this?" he asked  
Stu shrugged, "I think he knows enough that he's sorry for what he did. Did he say anything to you?"  
Phil shook his head, "It's just—back in the room, before that agent took us to the station it was like-I dunno- he knew." Phil said. Stu nodded his head. Alan had known something then, and whatever he had said to Phil did calm him down, it was better than anything Stu or Doug had done all that day.  
"He said something to me before, out in the desert that morning. He said that they took something from you, something you could never get back. Man, I wish I listened to him, I am so sorry about this, Phil. All of it." Stu said softly, hoping that this conversation wouldn't trigger anything, but Phil remained calm.  
"Stop apologizing, Stu. Look- it's pointless to mull over the would haves and could haves. It's going to drive you crazy. We're going home now, I'll be fine." he said, but the waver in his voice left Stu unconvinced.

Stu nodded, "If Alan says anything else that bothers you, just punch him. Okay?" he said with a little smile. Phil laughed a little, then grabbed a soda from the shelf. "Sounds good to me." he said

Stu nodded, and then pulled out his cell phone, "I'm going to give Lauren a call now, and let her know that you'll be staying with us until Steph gets back with the kids from Disneyland."

Phils eyes immediately flashed up, and the smile disappeared, "You're going to tell-"

"No, no I wont tell her anything. Just that your staying. Is that alright?"

Phil nodded, and then reached over and patted Stu's shoulder. "Thanks, Stu.I appreciate it."

Stu smiled, "You're welcome."

He pulled out his phone and motioned towards outside. "I'll be right out there, if you need anything."

When Stu was outside, and out of hear shot, he dialed Lauren's number. She picked up on the second ring.

"Stu?" she said

"Hey honey, I just wanted to let you know that we are just outside of Barstow. We should be home in a few hours. How are you, and Jamie?"

"Everything's great here. Did you have a fun weekend?"

"Ehhhh" Stu paused

"Stu, did something happen? Who did you loose this time?" Lauren asked, slightly panicked.

"No, no its nothing like that. There was a little incident with Phil, and some people that really scared him. Can he stay with us for a few days, until Steph gets back from Disneyland? I don't want him to be alone."

"Of course he can! But what happened? What do you mean, scared?" Lauren asked

"Uhh I cant tell you much over the phone, Ill fill you in when we get there. Just one more things though, when we do get there-Phil doesn't like-want to be touched. He's kinda spooked. Just thought I should tell you."

"Oh, um okay. What's going on, Stu? Is Phil alright?" Lauren asked

Stu sighed, "I hope so. We'll see you soon, hun. Love you."

"Love you too."

And he hung up.

888

When Stu headed back to the car, smartwater in hand he saw that everyone was already inside, waiting for him.

"Sorry guys, I just got off the phone with Lauren. Phil, you are welcome as long as you like at our house." Stu informed them.

Phil nodded, "Thanks." he said, quietly.

The rest of the drive was uneventful. Phil remained quiet and thoughtful throughout the trip, but Stu could tell he was once again battling with his memories from the way he was breathing-in short harsh gasps that he was trying to cover up by pretending to have the hiccups-and by picking at his fingernails. A nervous habit that wasn't uncommon among dentist patients. Stu didn't know much about PTSD, or sexual abuse or any other jargon that the doctors had mentioned, but he did know how to deal with anxiety. It was a huge part of being a dentist, being able to calmly treat those who had dentist anxieties. That was covered in dental school. Part of him wanted to grab Phil's hands and tell him to stop, that nobody was going to hurt him ever again but, Stu didn't want to trigger another episode, or whatever it was that happened to Phil in the hotel.

"You doing alright, Phil?" Stu asked instead. Phil tensed for a moment and bit his lip but then he answered in a quiet voice, "I'm fine."

Stu met Doug's concerned gaze in the mirror. Should they pull over? Stu shook his head slightly, they were almost home anyway.

"Do you remember in college when we took that crazy trip down to Cabo during our spring break our junior year?" Stu asked with a smile.

Doug laughed, "Aw man, that was a gorgeous trip. I've never seen water so clear before. Hey Phil, remember when you found that iguana?" Doug asked, catching on to Stu's strategy.

Phil smiled, "I hid it in Stu's backpack and blamed Julio. Stu nearly ran back home when he found it" he said, with a little laugh.

"Poor Julio, he sure got a talking to. I don't think he understood any english though." Doug added. Stu chuckled, "That was a trip to remember, right Phil?"

"Yeah, it was pretty great. No one got drugged, we all remembered everything. Good times, back then." Phil answered, drumming his fingers on his knees.

They arrived in LA a few hours later, tired and exhausted from driving. After Alan was dropped off at his parents house, Doug drove to Stuart's house to drop them off. Doug pulled into the driveway and turned the car off. A heavy silence fell over the three friends, nothing like this had ever happened before. Stu sighed softly, he still couldn't get that shattered look Phil had given him-the one before the medic had arrived-out of his minds eye. What would happen now, with one of them returning so broken?

"Here we are." Doug said quietly

"Thanks, Dougie." Stu answered, patting his friend on the back. Doug smiled, "Anytime, Stu."

Phil unbuckled his seatbelt, and Stu saw his hands shaking slightly. Would he ever trust them again?

"You ready, Phil?" Stu asked softly, and he saw Phil nod. Phil looked at Doug, and then turned around to look at Stu.

"Thanks, guys. For-for everything." he murmured softly

"No problem buddy, we love you. We just want to make sure you're alright." Stu answered. Outside the car, he saw Lauren waiting on the porch for them.

"I'll try to stop by tomorrow, see how everything is going." Doug said

"Thanks, that'll be great." Stu said, opening the car door and stepping out of the car. He opening Phil's door for him. Stu heard Phil say goodnight to Doug as he got their bags from the trunk. Phil started to reach for his but Stu shook his head.

"It's alright, Ive got it." he said

"Thanks"

They waved goodnight to Doug and watched him pull out of the driveway, and then they walked up to the porch where Lauren was waiting. She gave Stu a hug and a peck on the cheek, and then motioned them inside.

"Come on in, guys. How was the trip?" She asked as Stu put the bags down.

Stu smiled a little, "Vegas, always crazy. Right Phil?" he asked. Phil nodded slightly and gave a little smile, the light from the lamps luminating the still dark bruise on his face and the bags under his eyes.

"Phil, what happened? Did you get in a fight?" Lauren asked, handing going up to her own cheek. Phil blushed and ducked his head.

"Its nothing, I'm fine." he murmured, not looking her in the eye. Lauren looked back at Stu, and then at Phil again.

She sighed, "Alright. I bet you guys are tired. Phil, you're welcome to stay as long as you like. The guest bedroom is up the stairs and to the left." she said, pointing up the stairs. Phil nodded, "Thanks, Lauren."

Phil looked at Stu, "Is it alright if I-"

Stu nodded, "Of course, we all had a long day. Just give us a shout if you need anything."

"Thanks."

And Phil walked towards the stairs. This time Stu did notice that he was limping slightly, and Stu felt a simmering rage towards Luca and his men. If he ever laid eyes on that fat son of a bitch he would definitely try to kick his ass. Or give him a bad dentist recommendation. He jumped as he felt Lauren touch his arm.

"Stu? What's going on? You sounded weird on the phone. Is everything okay?" she asked, real concern in her eyes. Stu didn't have the heart to lie to her.

"Well...well um. Lets sit down." he said, motioning to the couches. Lauren sat down next to him and put her hand over his.

"Whatever happened, I still love you. You know that, right?" She said.

Stu smiled, "How could I get so lucky. You are amazing."

She blushed, "Please, tell me what happened." she asked him, Stu nodded and took a deep breathe, "I don't even know where to begin." he sighed

"The beginning?"

"Hahaha. Alright. Well, it happened again." he started

"What did?"

"Alan drugged us." he said

"Why do you even hang out with him anymore?"

"His dad payed for like the entire trip." Stu explained.

"Oh."

"Anyway, when we-Doug, Alan and I- woke up in the hotel room, we had no idea what had happened the night before. This was on Saturday morning, I think. And, Phil was missing."

"Oh no."

"I'm gonna summarize it just a bit. We got to meet Woody Allen-man that guy can pack a punch- we ran into Mr. Chow again, and Phil got kidnapped by some Mafia thugs because we accidentally stole $4,000 from them." Stu explained, with a grimace.

"What!? You stole money? Stuart Price." Lauren scolded him, sending him a scowl.

"Man, you're so cute when your angry."

"Get back to the story."

"After we realized we had no idea where the money was, Alan did some illegal gambling, and we won back the $4000." he said

"That's good."

"Yeah, this is where it gets messy. We were able to get Phil back from the thugs, but something happened to -they hurt him...in awful ways." Stu said, lowering his voice.

"What do you mean?" Lauren asked

"We should have taken him to a doctor right away, but we didn't. I cant believe we didn't do that. I knew something was wrong. He wouldn't let anyone near him, he just seemed so, so brittle." Stu whispered softly. "I thought he would get better, I hoped he would get better but he didn't. So we took him to the ER and Lauren?"

"Yes?"

"I've never seen anyone so broken in my entire life. They did more than hurt him, they threatened his family, and us. They manipulated him into thinking he was protecting all of us from them, that they wouldn't hurt us as long as he kept quiet and let them play their games on him. T'hey hurt him and now he's a completely different person."

"Oh Stu. What did they do?" she asked, and then her eyes went wide, "Stu was he ra-"

"Don't say it. If we don't say it maybe we can pretend it didn't happen. That everything is normal." Stu whispered as he put his head in his hands.

He felt then Lauren's warm embrace, "Everything is going to be okay. We will fix all of this, don't worry." she whispered into his ear.

"He's my best friend. I can't-can't see him like this."

"I know, I know. It will get better, I promise."

Stu looked up at Lauren, "How? Im just a dentist, I have no idea how to fix any of this. I don't know how to deal with sexual assault or PTSD. I don't even know how to talk about it."

"Shh, its alright. Yes you do, honey. You've gotten this far, haven't you?"

Stu shrugged, "I don't know. He still flinches whenever anybody-myself included- tries to touch him. And he still gets lost and I barely know how to bring him back."

"What do you mean?" Lauren asked

"He get these I-don't-know flashbacks and its like he's not even seeing us anymore. Like he's back with those men. I try, I've been trying to help him but I just don't know if I am or not."

"I'm sure you are. Don't worry, Stu. You've gotten this far, don't give up now. In the morning, I can make a few calls. Maybe get him to someone who can help. Should I call Stephanie?" she asked

"Not tonight, in the morning, yes. I know he doesn't want her to know, but I think it's the best thing." Stu said, sitting up straight.  
"Oh, okay honey. They're in Disneyland, aren't they?"

Stu nodded "He didn't want them to worry, it was the kids first time loves Steph and the kids, I don't think he would want them to know, he didn't want to spoil their trip."

"Everything will be alright, sweetie. We'll work it out though. Don't worry. Phil can stay here as long as he wants. We will make everything better, I promise." Lauren said, grabbing his hand and squeezing tight.

Stu smiled, "I love you, did you know that? Thanks for being so understanding."

Lauren kissed him on the forehead, "That's what we do. We're a team. Now, get some rest. You've had a long day."

888  
Stu woke to the sound of the doorbell ringing. He groaned, then stretched in his bed. What time was it? He looked over at his alarm clock and saw that it was nearly 11. He sat up when he heard the voices of Doug and Tracy drifting up from downstairs, then he quicklyy got out of bed and pulled on a rumbled pair of jeans. Now that he was finally home, everything felt more settled, more manageable. His mind drifted to Phil as he pulled on a black polo shirt and straightened his hair out with his fingers. What would happen now? He honestly didn't know, and that scared him more than anything that had happened this weekend.  
Stu was greeted with a choir of lighthearted "Good mornings!" as he walked down the stairs. Stu smiled as he saw Doug, Tracy and Lauren sitting at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and setting up the bagels Doug and Tracy had brought over.  
"Good morning, it's great to see everybody! Hi Tracy, Dougie." Stu said as he pulled out a chair and sat down.  
"Morning Stu. We just decided to drop by, see how everything was going. You must be tired, I dont think I have ever seen you sleep in this late." Doug said with a smile. Stu laughed, "Vegas does that to you, I guess."  
There was a pause in the conversation, and then Doug asked "How's Phil?"  
Stu shrugged, "Still asleep, I think."  
"Good, he needs the rest."  
"So…" Lauren interrupted, "Are you guys ever going to tell us what happened this weekend?" she said, looking from Stu to Doug.  
Stu sighed, "I guess we have to." he exchanged a look with Doug, and then began to tell their tale.  
Stu ended up telling Lauren and Tracey everything that had happened to them, including their trip to the hospital. Stephanie wasn't due back for another two days, and both Stu and Lauren thought it best that Phil stay with them, in their guest room. Both women were sympathetic towards Phil but Stu knew that they didn't really understand what had happened and Stu couldn't bring himself to say it out loud.

Over the next few days, Phil continued to cover his true emotions with his charming smile and wit, but Stu could tell he was still struggling with what had happened to him. Phil often would retreat to the guest bedroom whenever he could and answer their questions with vague, one word sentences. Stu tried his best to be a comfort, he even turned to the dictionary looking up violated, molested, assault, crime, nonconsensual but they were just words to him, there were no answers. None of it helped. Deep down he knew that Phil wasn't getting better. He needed help, help that neither Stu nor his family could provide.  
888

Stu stared at the closed door, it was Wednesday, the morning of Stephanie and the kids would return. He held up his hand to knock, pausing slightly. He didn't want to do this, he didn't want to see that broken expression in his friends eyes, or hear the brittleness in his voice again but he needed to talk to Phil. Stu raised his hand but before he could knock the door opened revealing Phil full dressed , and with packed bags? Phil jumped when he saw Stu and took a couple of steps back, but he didn't drop the bags.

"Hey Stu, you scared me." Phil said

"I was just coming to talk to you. Whats with the bags, are you going somewhere?" Stu asked

"Yeah...um I was thinking I could go um...home. Get the house ready for Steph." Phil lied, shifting back and forth on his feet.

"Really? You know you're welcome to stay here until they come back." Stu answered, stepping into the room. Phil flinched slightly, and Stu sensed the brittle disharmony, the feeling that he knew too well cloak over the room as Phil dropped the bag at his feet and crossed his arms over his chest to conceal their shaking." Stu, please. I can't do this. I have to go, away. Far away where no one knows." he said, entire body trembling. Stu stared at his friend, in all the years that he knew Phil, he never thought Phil as one to give up on something.

"What?" Stu asked

"I can't stay. I cant look at Steph and pretend all of this didn't happen. It still hurts, it won't stop. It'll never stop. I can't do this, I can't, I can't, I can't…." Phil started pacing back and forth rapidly as panic took over.

"Phil! Phil stop, please just listen to me." Stu said, walking over to Phil and grabbing his shoulders.

"Please, calm down. I need to ta-"

But Phil jerked out of his grip and backed up away from him, face panic stricken. " Please, please don't touch me! Please please don't" he half shouted, half pleaded. Stu took a couple steps back. "Okay, okay Phil. I'm sorry." he said, trying to remain calm.

Phil sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout." he said

"it's alright." Stu said, he motioned towards the bed, "Please, sit. I want to talk to you about something." he asked

Phil nodded, "Okay." He sat down on the bed with a shaky breathe, and Stu pulled over the computer chair and sat. He took a deep breath, slightly shattered by the way Phil had reacted to his touch.

"Steph and the kids are coming home today." he said again. Phil nodded, and Stu saw him grip his hands to stop them from shaking.

"I know you don't want them to know, Phil. But you can't keep hiding like this. Running away isn't going to help. Please, just stay. Steph loves you very much, she wouldn't want you to hide anything from her."

Phil sighed and put his head in his hands, "What am I going to do?" he asked in a thin whisper.

"Well, that's why I came to talk to you. Lauren and I want to help, we can talk to her-not tell her everything-just the basics to let her know what happened this weekend. As for the kids, they can stay with us, or at Dougie's until you get settled."

Phil looked up at him, "You would do that, for me?" he asked, voice laced with disbelief.

"Of course, you're my friend. I would do anything for you. You've been to hell and back for me. Remember Bangkok?"

Phil nodded but Stu continued, "After I found out what I had done, I was distraught. I didn't want to look anybody in the eye ever again. But you, and even Alan kept me grounded."

"Im sorry Stu, I forgot that you were too-man you've handled it so much better than me."

Stu nodded. There were no nice words for what had happened to him in Bangkok. It hadn't been fair, none of it had and it still made him wish that they had never gone to Thailand. But what had happened to Phil-that was different. He remembered it and was ashamed by it.

"It wasn't easy, it hasn't been easy. Man, I still get nightmares sometimes, but you know what really helped me?" Stu asked

"What?"

"Being able to talk about it. With Lauren. We're a team now, just like you and Steph are."

Phil looked up at him, "Really? You told her about the stripper?"

"Yes. She knew we were drugged out of our minds. By Alan. I don't think she's forgiven him yet."

Phil laughed a little, "Well, I don't blame her. Did he really drug us again?"

"Yes. For old times sake. What an idiot. He's a good guy, underneath all that though." Stu said. Phil smiled, "I guess so."

"Anyway. You know you can talk to me, right? I understand what it feels like, it sucks. But talking helps, believe me. I know it does."

Phil nodded, "I-I'm just not ready, Stu. Thank you though." They looked at each other, and Stu fought the urge to hug his friend. That's what friends did, after an emotional moment. They hugged it out, offered some sort of physical comfort. But Stu couldn't, he knew Phil would freak out again and that hurt him more than anything else.

"Stu? What's wrong?" Phil asked, Stu must have had an odd expression on his face.

"It's nothing, Kinda dumb, actually. I wish I could hug you." he said, almost sheepishly.

"Oh. Stu, I'm sorry. I really have to get over that, don't I?" Phil said

"No, no it's okay. Only when you're ready." Stu answered

Phil paused for a moment, and then reached out and touched Stu's knee. Stu looked up, well aware of how difficult it was for Phil to initiate contact and felt a pang of guilt as he remembered what Phil had given up in order to protect him. They needed to fix this, Phil needed to get better because that was the only way Stu would ever be able to forgive himself for what happened

"Thanks for everything, Stu. I really appreciate it. I know I've said that millions of times, but I do mean it." Phil said

Stu smiled, "I know. Now, about Steph. Lauren and I were thinking we could call her, and have her come here for dinner. Then we could let her know what happened, and work on it from there. Does that sound okay?"

Phil nodded, and let go of Stu.

"Alright

888

The doorbell rang making Stu jump and nearly spill his wine down his shirt. Lauren smiled at him. "Nervous, Hun?" She asked.

Stu shrugged, "Maybe."

"It'll be fine, I promise." She said, giving him a peck on the cheek before walking towards the door.

"Can you get Phil? Make sure he doesn't run away this time." She said. Stu laughed a little, and then walked towards the stairs. He knocked on the wall, knowing that Phil would be able to hear him.

"They're here, Phil." he said

"I know, I know. Give me a sec."

"Are you okay?" Stu asked

"Yes, I'm fine."

Stu sighed, wondering if he should go up and get Phil just to make sure he was there, but then decided not too. Phil needed to be able to trust them, and going up and rushing him didn't sound like the best idea at the moment.

He smiled as he saw Stephanie escorting the kids into the TV room.

"Hi Steph! How was Disneyland?" He asked, waving at her. Stephanie smiled and waved back, "Oh it was wonderful, best place on earth." She said, keeping the sarcasm down to a minimum, for the sake of the kids.

Stu grabbed his glass of wine from the kitchen and walked over to the TV room. Lauren was trying to settle Jamie, their 6 month old in the baby rocker and talking to Steph about the trip. Lauren had spoken with Steph on the phone before they had come over, letting her know what had happened to them over the weekend. She seemed to be taking it well, so far. Then again, there were kids in the room and Stu knew that she wouldn't want to upset them.

"Im really excited to take her when she's older. Its kinda like a right of passage, isn't it?" She said, "I hope she likes fast rides when she's older."

Steph smiled, "It is. I wish Phil-Daddy had gone with us though, managing two kids is definitely a real chall-"

Eli, the oldest of the Wennick children saw Stu in the doorway, "Uncle Stu!" he shouted, running over to him. Stu smiled, "Hey buddy! How was Disneyland!" he asked.

The 10 year old smiled, "I rod space mountain 17 times in a row! Mommy almost threw up. Lily liked it too though"

Lily was their 5 year old daughter.

"Wow, that sounds like fun." Stu said with a smile. Kids. He straightened up and waved to Steph. "Lots of fun, right?"

Steph rolled her eyes. "Never again. Phil's taking them next time."

"I'll tell you what, when Jamie, and Doug's twins are old enough we'll gather up the old wolfpack and take the kids all together." Stu said with a smile.

"That sounds great, Stu."

"Where is daddy?" Eli asked, looking from Stu to Steph.

"He's upstairs, he'll come down in a bit Bud. Now, have I shown you our new TV? We have all the Transformers movies!" Stu said excitedly

"But I don't like Transformers." huffed Lily from the couch.

"That's okay, Lily. We can play Space Mountain if you want." Eli said, running over to his sister. Stu met Steph's eye and smiled. They were good kids.

"I think everyones settled now, shall we head over to the living room?" Lauren asked, hoisting Jamie onto her other shoulder. "I'll put her in the bouncy chair, she's being fussy tonight." Lauren told Stu.

"I can do it, go chat with Steph." Stu said, taking the baby and handing her his glass of wine.

"Your the best." Lauren said with a smile, and then motioned for Stu to lead the way. As the four of them funneled out into the hallway, Stu saw a Phil shaped shadow standing at the end of the stairwell.

"Hi Phil! Look who's here." Stu said with a smile, pointing to Stephanie. Phil paused for only a moment, and then walked over to them. He had changed into a dark blue long sleeved shirt and tan pants, and despite the still present bruise on his face, he looked good.

"Hey" he said quietly, then he walked over and embraced Steph. Like he always did.

Stu heard him whisper, "I missed you." into Steph's hair, and then he let go of her.

Eli poked his head out of the playroom. "Daddy!" he shouted, and wiggled his way past Stu, running towards his father.

Phil bent down to Eli's height, "Hey, little man! How was Disney-oophm" he was cut off as Eli hugged him. Stu tensed, waiting for Phil to flinch, or pull away from the contact but he didn't. Instead, he stood up and put his hand on Eli's shoulder.

"Did you have fun?" he asked, a slight tremble in his voice.

Eli nodded

"Good. I want to hear all about it, but first Daddy has to talk to Uncle Stu about something, alright?"

Eli nodded again, and then ran back into the playroom. Phil looked up at Stu, and then at Stephanie.

"Let's go sit." Stu said, after a few moments of awkward silence. He led them into the living room, and then settled Jamie into the jumper seat. After making sure she seemed content with playing with her toys, he turned around and went to sit next to Lauren.

"Thank you for having us over, it was so nice of you to cook dinner. So, how was Vegas?" Steph asked with a smile. Stu smiled but didnt say anything. He didnt know where to start. What could he tell her? That he let her husband be taken for ransom? That he let those awful men violate Phil and had done nothing to stop it? How would he explain that Phil couldn't stand to be touched, or that he had flashbacks and nightmares. How would she react, with one of them returning so broken?

"It was alright." Phil answered

There was a beat of silence. And then another one.

"Is everything okay? You guys are acting kind of strange." Steph said, her smile fading a bit.

"Steph, something happened in Vegas. That you should know about." Stu began slowly, looking at Steph and then Phil, who had gone rigid.

"What? What's wrong? Please tell me." She said.

"We ran into some trouble, and Phil was taken hostage." Stu answered.

"Oh my god. Are you okay?" Steph asked, puttting her hand on Phil's shoulder. Phil flinched his shoulder away from her touch.

"Phil?" she asked she reached to grab his hand but he pulled away from her.

"Phil. What's wrong? What happened? Please, tell me." she asked desperately, looking at Phil and then to Stu and Lauren.

Phil looked at Stu, but then answered, "I'm sorry. Im just a little spooked, thats all. They weren't-weren't very nice to me."

"Oh Phil. Im sorry."

"I'll be okay though. I just need some time to forget it ever happened." he said.

Stu sighed. Of course Phil wouldn't tell her. Maybe he would later, when it was just them?

The rest of the evening went well. Phil asked a lot of questions about Disneyland, and purposely avoided talking about Vegas, or their weekend. He seemed okay though, Stu knew he was in good hands with Stephanie. They always were perfect for each other. Phil left with Steph and the kids that night.

Stu sighed, and hoped that everything would be okay.

888

Thanks for sticking with me as I do this. Please let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

One Week Later:

When Stu opened his door and stepped into his house, he was surprised to see Doug, Stephanie, Tracey and Lauren standing in the living room.

"Hey, guys?" Stu asked, a little confused.

"Hey Stu. We need to talk." Doug said, Steph sniffed loudly and Stu realized she was crying.

"Oh my god, what happened. Are you okay? Is everyone okay?" Stu asked, running over to them. Steph shook her head.

"It's Phil…"

"Oh no. Please, tell me what happened." Stu said, coming over and sitting down next to Stephanie.

"Stephanie caught Phil in the bathroom this morning, with a razor-to his wrists." Doug said softly, once Stu had sat down.

"What? Is he okay?" Stu asked, taken aback by the news.

"She was able to stop him before he cut too deep." Doug answered for Steph, who was now crying into Tracey's shoulder.

"She didn't know what to do. The kids were home, so she called me." Doug explained, and then he broke off.

"Is Phil okay? Did you take him to the hospital?" Stu asked, but Doug shook his head.

"The cuts, they were shallow. Like-like the ones we saw in Vegas."

"Like the ones that Luca's men-?"

Doug shook his head, "But I don't think they did that to him."

"Oh." Stu said, and he rubbed his temples with his hands, remembering back to the hotel room. Phil had been so scared about them finding out what was under his sleeves. Phil hadn't wanted them to see the cuts at all. Was it because he had put them there?

"Why? Why would he do that?" Stu asked

Doug shrugged, "We don't know. He wouldn't say anything-except that he was just trying to make them stop. I don't know what that means though, he wasn't making much sense. Stu I-I think-we're way over our heads here. I thought he would get better on his own, but he's not. What should we do?" Doug asked

Stu shook his head. "I don't know. Where is he now?"

"We left the kids with my parents but we didn't know where to bring Phil. Thank goodness my brother was there, he helped us bring Phil up to one of the guest bedrooms." Tracy continued

"You left Phil with Alan?!" Stu asked in disbelief

"I know it's crazy, but he was the only one who knew what to do. Just like in Vegas. He was able to calm Phil down long enough to get him patched up. He's got a special skill set, that man." Doug answered

Stu nodded, "He does. So whats going on now? Will Phil be okay? Steph, what exactly happened?"

Steph sniffed again, and then wiped her tears from her face. "It's been hard, this past week, but I thought he was getting better, that the worst was over. He was fine with the kids and even with me but this morning he-he was in the bathroom with the lights off, I thought no one was in there so I just barged in and saw him sitting on the floor, blood running down his arms. I-I-didn't know what to do, and the kids-they heard. I couldn't let them see their father like that. I-." She cut off with a sob.

"Then I called Doug. He came over-" she cut off again, crying into her hands. Tracey rubbed her back, and continued, "I stayed downstairs with Eli and Lily. They really didn't know what was going on. Stu, we've all been patient with Phil. We've all been quiet, and courteous towards him but this has gotten out of our hands. We need to take him to the hospital, he needs help."

Stu nodded. "I know, I know.I just, I don't want him to think we're forcing him into doing anything. He said he didn't want to talk about it, that he would get over it with time."

"You know what I think we should do?" Doug asked

"What?"

"Stage an intervention. Maybe once he sees that we all support him, he'll go." Doug said.

Stu paused, wouldn't an intervention make things worse?

"Not-not like a real one. More like, a gathering of friends to show support. He needs to know he can trust us, that we're not going to hurt him." Doug said quickly, sensing Stu's hesitation.

"He still wont let anybody touch him." Stu whispered. They had all treaded carefully around Phil these past few days, but he still flinched at the slightest touch, still winced and froze when someone approached him too fast. Yet, he said he was fine, that he would get over it and be okay. But Phil wasn't okay. He was never going to be okay until he got help. Would he accept it though? If only he would throw away his pride and admit that he needed help.

Stu sighed. Maybe an intervention would help Phil. It was worth a shot, anyway.

"When do you want to do it?" Stu asked

"Tomorrow." Steph said, "I love Phil, so much but he has taken this too far. He needs help, more help than I can give him. He keeps saying he'll get better on his own, but I don't think he will. He needs help."

Stu nodded, "I know a good doctor, I'll give her a call tomorrow and make an appointment. Do you think he'll agree to see her?"

Doug shrugged, "I dunno. I hope so, man. Today-today was so scary. The last time I saw him like this was well-in Vegas."

"Was he trying to-" Stu asked but Doug shook his head.

"No, I don't think so. He kept saying he was trying to make them stop-that he couldn't make them stop. I don't understand it." Doug answered, gripping his drink.  
Stu nodded, "I think I do." he said softly  
"What?"  
"This thing he's been saying to make them stop, this mantra—I think I know-understand- what it is." Stu said after a few moments, "He has all these memories, memories that he can't seem to forget of what they did to him. And I think he gets caught up in them, and that frightens him more than anything else. He wants to forget them, to pretend like it never happened but they keep coming back. And he keeps living and reliving the moments when those men were hurting him and it's killing him. I know this—" Stu broke off and took a breathe, "I know this because that's how I felt after Bangkok. I knew what I had done, and I was ashamed by it but it was all I could think about. I would have done anything to make those thoughts go away and that really scared me. So I got help. Simple as that." he said, looking from Doug, to Tracy, to Lauren and finally to Stephanie.

Stu walked over and put a hand on Steph's shoulder, "I know this is scary for you, it has been for all of us, but we have to stay strong. He sacrificed so much for us. We can't loose him now." he said. Steph looked at him with glassy eyes.

"Can you talk to him, maybe he'll open up to me and admit he needs help. If he doesn't, then we can do the intervention." she said, eyes darting back and forth.

StephStu nodded, "I Of course I will."  
"He seems most comfortable with you, maybe he'll talk to you. We weren't able to get him to say much." Doug said

Stu frowned. Phil not talking? That wasn't a good sign at all, if anything, it meant that Phil had given up on getting better. Stu wouldn't let that happen. Not to Phil, who he knew had the courage to fight through this. Deep down Stu knew that Phil hadnt been trying to end his life. Phil had fought so hard to stay alive, so hard to protect his family that it just didn't make sense for him to leave now. Doug said the cuts were shallow, like the ones in Vegas had been.  
Stu finally nodded, "I'll talk with him."

"He's at my parents, Alan's watching him now." Tracey added, looking at Stu.

"Alright. Should we go now?" Stu asked

"Sure."

"What about the kids? Are they okay?"

Doug nodded, "The kids are fine. I don't think they saw much, they're with Tracey's mom right now. I think she took them out for ice cream." he said

Steph nodded, " It'll do them good, being out of the house. They were starting to ask questions about Phil and I didn't know how to answer." she sniffed, then blew her nose.

"How was Phil with them?" Stu asked, slightly curious. He knew Phil wouldn't let anyone touch him, but he seemed to be okay with Eli and Lily.

"He's been a little distant with them, I don't think he wants them to see their father hurt." Steph answered.

Stu nodded, "He really loves them, I hope you know that. Has he told you anything else-about what happened?"

Steph shook her head, "Only that he got taken hostage, and that they scared him. He wouldn't go into details and thats whats scaring me. Something else happened that he's not telling us. He just says he's fine when I ask, but he's not. I know he's not." She said.

"I know, I noticed that too." Stu answered, and then he stood up.

"I want to talk to him, shall we go?" he asked

Doug nodded, and reached for his car keys.

888

The guest bed was neatly made up with antique-looking blue blankets that surely no one would sleep under in the hot LA weather. Phil was not in the bed, but sitting up in a straight-backed chair by the window. He looked up when Stu knocked on the door casement.  
"Hey Stu." he said in a soft voice, so soft that Stu wasn't sure if he had actually heard it or not.

"Hi, I came to see how you were doing." Stu said softly

Phil smiled slightly, and then got up from the chair and offered it to Stu and sat on the bed. Stu didn't think Phil had been doing anything at all, just sitting with his hands in his lap. He was wearing a blue short sleeved overlarge shirt-probably one of Alans- and Stu could plainly see the white bandages on his friend's wrists and forearms. Phil must have noticed his gaze, for his crossed his arms infront of him, trying to conceal them.  
"You don't have to hide from me, Phil. I understand." Stu said  
Phil blinked a few times, eyes glassy, "I'm sorry." he murmured softly.  
Stu shook his head, "You have nothing to be sorry about."  
The looked at each other for a second, then looked at other things in the room, of which there were painfully few. A guest bedroom in someone else's house, Stu felt that it shouldn't be this way. Phil should be happily settled in his own house, with his own wife and kids. He didn't deserve to be here, trapped like a prisoner with white bandages on his wrists and fear in his heart. Stu didn't know why he'd thought he'd have the nerve to do this. Phil seemed so empty, almost void.

"How are you feeling now? Are you feeling better? "

Stu asked out of courtesy. Of course Phil wasn't okay, he wasn't getting better and they both knew it.

Phil gave him an incredulous look and scoffed.  
Stu felt himself laugh, "Sorry. Dumb question." he paused for a moment, then continued "I've been meaning to tell you," Stu said, "I think what you did in Vegas was one of the bravest things anyone had ever done. I wouldn't have been able to do it. Ive been thinking it over in my head, and if I had been there, and if they had been hurting me and threatening me. I would not have been able to hold on. I would have given up. I'm a coward Phil, and that's why I look up to you. You were so brave, braver than most men I know. I just wanted you to know that." Phil nodded then looked away conversation would have been hard enough with both people matter what Stu said, it was sure to be the exact wrong thing to say to someone who recently put a razor to their wrist.  
"I guess the main thing I came up here to tell you is, I don't know how you go on, but I really hope you'll keep doing it. That you won't give up hope. Don't let what you sacrificed die in vain. Keep fighting it—them. I know you can win"Stu continued.

"Please stay strong, Phil. For us." he finished, looking up at his friend. Phil had tears in his eyes, but that seemed better somehow than nothing at all.

"It's terrible, what you lost."," Stu said, "I know exactly how you feel because I lost it too. But it's also true that some people never have anything to lose, and I think that's got to be so much worse." Stu finished, looking up at his friend.

They sat there for a long time, and then Stu finally said, "I never got that chance to say thank you, for what you did. " then he went over and took one of the hands in his lap and held it for a second and for the first time Phil didn't flinch away. His skin felt cold and emptied-out, like there was nobody home.

Stu walked back down the stairs and saw that Tracey, Doug and Stephanie we waiting in the living room. He sighed, and then took a deep breathe.

"Let's do it. Tomorrow."

888

That is it for now. I'm still working on the intervention, it may be a few days. Please review and let me know what you thought of the changes!


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